words in movies
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
Amy: Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
Ross: Well, do you wanna marry him?
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Monica: Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!
Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
Matt: It tastes like (mimicking him in a high-pitched voice) feet!
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
(She does so, he closes the door, and she pushes him against the doorknob again.)
Ross: I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. (starts to drink, but Rachel stops him just before he starts drinking)
Rachel: Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Rachel: (she leans over and kisses him on the cheek) Honey, I was wondering....
ROSS: Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi!
(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
Monica: So, should I call him back?
Monica: I called him.
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
Rachel: Yes, Ross. (turns toward him)
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
Joey: I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! (He starts rocking back and forth, taking Ross with him.)
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?
Rachel: (Looks at him) You're so pretty.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
Phoebe: But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped outand everyone booed him off the stage. So funny.
(They all start laughing at him)
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Joey: Weve got a box. (Motions to a large wooden box next to him.)
Monica: What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
Rachel: Honey, this will help. (hands him a tub of ice cream)
Chandler: Why dont you just give him to somebody else?
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Rachel: I thought you only met him once?
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Rachel: And I still have about five seconds to spare. (kisses him) Okay, that was about seven seconds.
Joey: Ah, let me see! (she hands him a pile of tissues) Damn, that's a lot of guys! Are you a little slutty?
Monica: Rach, are you really gonna let him do this?
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
ROSS: Uh, Eddie something. He just met him.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Joey: Maybe she killed him?
Ross: Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.
Cliff: I dont believe this. You got him to pretend he was some fake doctor?
Phoebe: And youre so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And youre kind (kisses him on the lips)
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Phoebe: He said you poked at him with wooden spoons.
PHOE: Oh, um, it was nice. Took him to a romantic restraunt, ordered champagne, nice.
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Joey: (glares at him) I know!
RACH: Oh, look at me, look at me. Oh, I'm on a date with a really great guy, all I can think about is Ross and his cat and his... Julie. I just want to get over him. gosh, why can't I do that?
MONICA: Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. (Rachel glares at her, and she retreats to safety between Richard's legs)
Chandler: You totally screwed him over.
Ross: Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
Phoebe: No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I cant see him.
Ross: Why? Why cant you go to him?
Joey: Itll kill him. I mean itll, itll just kill him.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Joey: Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.
Joey: Oh my God, is she going back to him?
Janice: (standing up) Im sorry. (hugs him)
Monica: And yet, were still poking him.
Phoebe: (joining him) Love....
(They thread the needle and start poking him, he then stirs.)
Phoebe: My moms gonna be here any minute. I cant do this, I cant give him up. Yesno, I can. I dont want to. But I can. No.
Monica: Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that.
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
Monica: Dead leg!! (kicks him in the thigh.)
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
(just as he gets in front of Margha, Monica comes up and tackles him)
Monica: What?! I just touched him and he went over.
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
Rachel: Ugh! Look honey yknow what? I havent told him yet, so until I do I dont think I should tell anybody else.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Chandler: Honey, you did call him back. 'Cause, it's, it's really old.
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
Chandler: Oh thats great, with my luck, thats gonna be him.
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.