words in movies
Woman: I would love your autograph. (hands him a notepad)
Charlie: Oh my God! Did you talk to him?
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica)
Monica: See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to?
Monica: What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike?
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
Chandler: Nude... (Ross looks at him)... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry.
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Monica: No, I called him. It's not gonna happen.
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
Monica: I know (she snuggles to him)
Chandler: (to a paleontologist sitting next to him) Not to mention the cold sores.
Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really?
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation)
(Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him!
Rachel: Oh yes, of course, I remember him!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him?
Phoebe: (pointing at Mike and shouting) I sleep with him!
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Ross: I knew that was him!
Charlie: Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later?
Monica: No, I have just to have two more points to beat him!
Monica: (Yells after him) I love you!
Monica: (yelling after him) We will!!
Ross: Oh yeah? no, no Nobel Prizes for him?
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.)
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Rachel: Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him!
Rachel: And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous!
Phoebe: Well, you could wait til I go to the dentist, maybe Ill kill him.
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Ross: Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today.
Ross: Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him.
Joey: (entering from the elevator caring gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)
Cliff: Id have to say the talking gorilla, because at least I can explain to him that youre making me eat him.
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
Joey: Well, just wake him up!
Ross: I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job!
Chandler: You don't like him.
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Chandler: Yeah, you think so, well? Should I ask him?
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in)
Rachel: All right here he comes. Im gonna do this, Im gonna tell him, Im gonna be strong.
Rachel: Oh thank you so much. (Picks up the guy's spirit level) Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game. (hands it to him)
(Phoebe and Rachel both pause, look at each other, and go press their breasts against him. Which Joey doesnt mind, of course.)
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Prof. Sherman: (confused) You're welcome. (Ross hugs him again)
Ross: Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? (Russell glares at him.) I will think about the therapy.
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Joey: Rachel... let's be clear on this, ok? I do not love Hugsy. I like him a normal amount...
Monica: (kneels with him) Chandler, umm, I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds.
Joey: No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a firemans carry and carries him out.) Here we go.
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Monica: Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him.
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Chandler: We share a wall! So either hes great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot.
Ross: Well, if you see him could you please tell him I'm looking for him?
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
Ross: You know, I gotta go find him. He's gotta be here someplace.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: (still can't find him) How are you doing this?
Ross: Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.
Precious: Oh, my God, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
(Ross smiles slightly.� Then he gives a single nod that lifts him to his feet.� He exits the coffee shop.
(Rachel looks at him.)
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
(Monica glares at him.)
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
(Monica looks at him.)
Colleen: I would have told him to do it too.
Colleen: You told him he's adopted?
Joey: Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him..
LIPSON: I'm sorry. Look, I know this can't bring him back but here, it's just a gesture.
(The triplets stare at him.)
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)
Phoebe: (Also gets up and starts taking her purse) Oh my God. Was Mike with him?
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Joey: Uh! (When she's done she throws her bra at him)
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
Ross: Take thee, (Glares at the Minister) Emily. (Chuckles) Like thered be anybody else. (Emily is glaring at him.)
Zack: Oh! I'm gonna go wash up first. (Chandler points him the bathroom) Thanks!
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Jeanette: (to Zack) Here are the boards for Friday's pitch (hands him something).
"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along.
Rachel: Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that Ive ever done. But Im telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (Theres a knock on the door.) Yes?
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Ross: Well, do you wanna marry him?
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Monica: Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Rachel: Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Charlie: (glances over Ross' shoulder) Sorry, looks like it's just him.
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
Charlie: Yes, absolutely. I'll call him.
Monica: Absolutely! Yes, you say to him "I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!"
Chandler: (Hands the tape back to him) I'm sorry man.
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Rachel: Well, I did my best to convince him that Im not some crazy girl who is dying to get marriedIm just going through a hard time.
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Monica: You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! (Growls and pulls him into a kiss.)
Chandler: Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
Ross: Hi! Yeah! Tommys in line for the bathroom and someone just cut in front of him, I think hes gonna snap. (Hes watching very intently)
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
Laura: Are you friends with him?
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)