words in movies
Joey: Hey-hey listen (Chandler waves him away.)
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
Wendy: So? I'm married. (Showing him the ring on her finger.)
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
Mike: Better think of a new name for him.
Chandler: You don't trust him?
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Monica: You were just being so nice to him!
Phoebe: Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So thats dumb what I said, dont tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. (Mischa does so and Sergei kisses her hand.) Nice, (to Mischa) thank you. This is me. Here.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
Larry: Well, I suppose I could give him a warning.
Phoebe: (realizes) Ooh, maybe that's him!
Monica: You kissed him?
Monica: I thought you hated him?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Chandler: Did she go out with him?
Joey: (dejected) Yeah, all right. (Thinks of something.) Ooh! (He quickly runs out before anyone can stop him.)
Joey: Oh-oh-oh, yeah! (He grabs some towels and takes them to him.) That's right, you take good care of those babies!
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
Rachel: Yeah. Ahh, heres a box of your stuff. (hands him a box)
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Phoebe: No! It�s my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it�s a little to soon to show my true colors.
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
(Monica looks at him.)
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
Rachel: No. No, I dont. Could you be a dear and go tell him?
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
PHOE: Look, I, y'know, I don't mind taking it slow, I like him a lot, y'know he's really interesting and he's really sweet and why won't he give it up?
Chandler: (spinning around looking for him) I dont think you did a very thorough job!
Chandler: everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming around thinking Chandler was giving himself a treat to sharks.)
(She's getting closer to him, the scene fades to black.)
Ross: Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it.
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Monica: (stopping him) Sit down! Were winning!
Ross: wow, are you still going to move in with him?
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters to find Monica waiting patiently for him. He closes the door and they start kissing.]
Rachel: Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him!
Rachel: All right... Oh, Emma loves him!
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that.
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Phoebe: I just like him so much that I just feel like Ive had 10 drinks today and Ive only had six.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
Joey: No, sorry haven't seen him.
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!!
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Kori: We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him.
Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.
Phoebe: Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.
Rachel: Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?
(Rachel glares at him)
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
All: (subdued) Yay! (He motions for them to keep quiet, including Chandler who is still holding the lamp Ross handed him, before he goes off to talk to Emily in private.)
(Rachel comes out of her room and starts staring at him unseen)
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
(the actress slaps him)
Rachel: (interrupting him) Oh Chandler, stop talking!
Joey/Drake: You don't love him!
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Joey/Drake: I can't believe you married him.
Rachel: just... don't talk... (she kisses him)
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday.
Monica: Wow, do you mean like kiss him-kiss him?
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Charlie: Let's ditch him!
(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)
Chandler: (to Monica) No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.
Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him?
[Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.]
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Monica: (yelling after him) We will!!
Monica: (Yells after him) I love you!
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Ross: Oh yeah? no, no Nobel Prizes for him?
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.)
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Rachel: Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him!
Rachel: And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous!
Phoebe: Well, you could wait til I go to the dentist, maybe Ill kill him.
Joey: (entering from the elevator caring gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)
Ross: Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today.