words in movies
(The party falls flat. Chandler tries to think of a witticism, but even he can't help...)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Phoebe: Ooo, a crossword! Can I help?
Ross: Wow, Monicas letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Monica: Come on! I really need your help!
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Joey: Okay, what if the puppy said, "Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me."
Ross: (entering) Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do?
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Rachel: How does going to a strip club help him better?
Phoebe: We should help him!
Rachel: I Well, I dont think they need any help.
Monica: (grabs a bag of those Styrofoam peanuts) Ill be coordinator! Oh my God! Im so sorry, I didnt get you anything! Okay, look everybody has to help! Okay? You can help, cant you Phoebe?
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Monica: (all depressed) Help yourself.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
The Woman: Could you guys help me? (Chandler shyly exhales and looks away.)
All: Of course well help! Yeah! Well be here!
Paul: Thanks for your help. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Female Clerk: Can I help you?
The Museum Official: (To Monica) May I help you?
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Chandler: Yknow, Im so glad I picked you to help me with this.
Male Jeweler: Can I help you?
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Rachel: Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May we help you?
Ross: Can I, can I help you with something?
Terry: I cant help you Joey.
Joey: Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake.
Joey: Ross, you need some help?
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Chandler: I cant help it!
The Head Librarian: How can I help you?
Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you?
Rachel: No, Ive just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up?
The Woman: Please, cant you help me out?
Monica: Im sorry, I cant help you. See? (Points to her new sign.) Rules are rules.
Ross: Need some help?
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hi Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
Chandler: Well what Yknow what Im gonna do? Im gonna go over there; Im gonna kick his ass! (Pause) Will you help me?!
Rachel: Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldnt move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Monica: You gotta help me out here Pheebs.
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Salesman: Oh. Okay! How can I help you?
Rachel: And your lap does not count! Okay? Come on help me move this.
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Rachel: Thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Erin: I really dont think he does. And yknow what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Yknow, tell him Im-Im not interested in a serious relationship or something.
(She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say cant help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Chandler: Yknow what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
Rachel: Oh, no problem. Im so glad I could help. Happy for you. (She playfully punches him.)
Ross: Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it.
Dina: I I dont care about fashion! Im pregnant! And I know you are too, so you gotta help me!
Mr. Zelner: May I help you?
Cecilia: All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica.
Phoebe: Anything I can do to help?
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
The Teacher: Excuse me. Can, can I help you with something?
Rachel: Oh, come on kids! A little help here!
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Monica: Hey Hon, could you help me get the plates down?
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help!
Monica: Uh I really dont know what to tell you Rach, I really dont. I mean, maybe Joey can help you out with your, with your big work problem.
Phoebe: All right, dont freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
Phoebe: Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it.
Ross: Well do you want some help?
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
Written by: Vanessa McCarthy Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help From: Dan Gottleib
Wayne: Joey, Joey, I-I-Ill g-get you your job back if you help me out.
Joey: You, you want me to help you with that?
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!