words in movies
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Phoebe: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
Mr. Heckles: Youre disturbing my oboe practice.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
Mr. Heckles: (to Eric) Who are you?
Mr. Heckles: Im Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: He told me in person.
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
CHANDLER: Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. And he was in the scale modeler's club, and I was, well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.
Mr. Heckles: Ehhhh... B-Buttons.
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
CHANDLER: Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did.
Mr. Heckles: Er, yeah, it's mine.
Mr. Heckles: Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Mr.Heckles: I could have cats.
Phoebe: Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)
Mr. Heckles: I wasn't ready for it.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Monica: Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles.
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Turns to Mr. Heckles)
Mr. Heckles: You owe me a waffle.
(Mr. Heckles opens the door)
Mr. Heckles: Whaddyou want?
Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey. That's Patti, Patti the monkey.
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
Mr. Heckles: What about it?
Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey.
PHOEBE: Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
MONICA: Mr. Heckles.
MONICA: Hello, Mr. Heckles.
MONICA: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
MR. HECKLES: You're doing it again.
MR. HECKLES: I could have birds.
CHANDLER: Funniest? Heckles?
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
CHANDLER: Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
Mr. Heckles: Mmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons.
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
MR. HECKLES: You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds.
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Marcel turns round)
Mr. Heckles: Saw Regis Philbin once...
Mr. Heckles: Potassium.
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Mr. Heckles: I don't have a monkey.
MR. HECKLES: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
Mr. Heckles: I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?
Rachel: Oh. (they knock at the next door, Mr. Heckles answers) Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner.