words in movies
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Phoebe: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
Mr. Heckles: Youre disturbing my oboe practice.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
Mr. Heckles: (to Eric) Who are you?
Mr. Heckles: Im Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: He told me in person.
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
CHANDLER: Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. And he was in the scale modeler's club, and I was, well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Mr. Heckles: Er, yeah, it's mine.
Mr. Heckles: Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.
CHANDLER: Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Monica: Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles.
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Turns to Mr. Heckles)
Mr.Heckles: I could have cats.
Mr. Heckles: Whaddyou want?
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
Mr. Heckles: You owe me a waffle.
Phoebe: Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)
Mr. Heckles: I wasn't ready for it.
(Mr. Heckles opens the door)
Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey.
MONICA: Mr. Heckles.
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
MONICA: Hello, Mr. Heckles.
MONICA: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
MR. HECKLES: You're doing it again.
Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey. That's Patti, Patti the monkey.
Mr. Heckles: What about it?
PHOEBE: Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
MR. HECKLES: I could have birds.
CHANDLER: Funniest? Heckles?
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
MR. HECKLES: You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds.
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
Mr. Heckles: Mmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons.
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Marcel turns round)
Mr. Heckles: Saw Regis Philbin once...
CHANDLER: Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Mr. Heckles: I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?
Mr. Heckles: Potassium.
Mr. Heckles: I don't have a monkey.
Rachel: Oh. (they knock at the next door, Mr. Heckles answers) Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner.
MR. HECKLES: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
Mr. Heckles: Ehhhh... B-Buttons.
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.