words in movies
Ross: Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved)
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Rachel: You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)
Rachel: (now lifts her head) Phoebe!!
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Phoebe: (pushes her head back down) Time for your scalp massage!
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Ross: Ye... Yeah... Yeah... You got shellfish in your head.
Rachel: Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.
Rachel: Sorry, I just uhm... I can't seem to get Ross out of my head...
Phoebe: (sticks her head out) I didn't say anything yet!
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Monica: I'll put a pillowcase over my head.
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
Carl: (sticking his head back in) Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake?
(Lifts her head from Joey's shoulder)
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think itd be really good.
(Ross shakes his head)
(Ross head appears above Joey's, Rachel's below Joey's and Phoebe's at the bottom)
Monica: ...and head to Canada!
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Rachel: Ok, off the top of my head... Don and Janet.
Joey: (he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!!
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
(When Joey tries to pull back his head, he notices he is stuck)
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
Rachel: Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Phoebe: I, I have to go before I put your head through a wall. (she leaves)
(Rachel holds her hand in order to support her head. Mr Zellner obviously overheard the conversation.)
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Monica: Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Ross: Good, 'cause the ladies, not so much. (shakes his head, give him a thumbs up and leaves)
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
(Joey takes the bubble wrap off his head)
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Doctor: The baby's head is crowning.
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
RACHEL: OK. [they go to kiss but everyone's watching so Ross just kisses her on the top of her head and leaves]
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Rachel: Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. (Puts her head in the hole and Phoebe enters)
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, good idea. (he mimes hitting his head with his fist)
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Little Girl: Okay. (She drops her head in disappointment and walks away.)
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
Joey: (sticking his head out the window) Fights over!
Chandler: When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]
Joey: (simulating an echo) Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... (Chandler hits him in the back of the head) Okay, Blast off!
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
(She puts her head on Joey's shoulder and Joey kisses her on her head.)
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
Ross: Yknow I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
Joey: Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs(He gasps in horror.) Oh! (Runs out and Chandler just shakes his head. After a second Joey runs back in to grab a piece of pizza and runs back out.)
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Joey: (Touches the back of his head and licks his fingers) Oh man! I thought I got it all!
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Phoebe: Of course we can. Congratulations. (they hug, but Joey shakes his head.) Yay! (she gestures Joey to come and join in) Joey...
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Monica: You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... (Rachel isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an hour.
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didnt I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
DR. BURKE: [bobbing his head] I'll survive.
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Monica: You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH!
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Pete: I bought a restaurant and I would like you to be the head chef.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Phoebe: It's just my knitting that's all! (A dog sticks its head out of Phoebe's bag. Everyone looks puzzled.) Yes! I knit this. I'm very good.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
FRANK: Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.