words in movies
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.
Joey: I don't know uhh (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: He gave me a pill for it.
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
(Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.)
(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
MRS BUFFAY: He went out for groceries.
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
[He kisses her on the cheek, she returns the kiss, then they embrace in a full on kiss]
Rachel: Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
CHANDLER: Wha- wh- why, why, why does he suspect that?
Chandler: I walk into a room and he wont even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
Ross: Yeah, he-hes right, hes right. This is your time y'know, yeah, youre young, youre-youre weird, chicks dig that.
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Chandler: Okay, but let's do it now though, because Chopper 5 just lost it's feed! (He grabs their bags and sprints out.)
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
(She turns around and glares at him, he turns away.)
(She does so, he closes the door, and she pushes him against the doorknob again.)
Ross: Good. Maybe he can switch it back.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.]
Monica: Was he crying?
[He walks out of the bedroom and Monica starts to remake the bed.]
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya.
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (he kisses her)
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Phoebe: What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Janice: You know what, where he hugs you and kinda rolls you away and... Oh... my....God.
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
Chandler: You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! (Rachel goes over and unlocks the handcuffs) Ahhh! (He starts rubbing his wrist)
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face, then just before he kisses her on the lips....)
MRS. GREENE: He always ridiculed my pottery classs...
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Ross: Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys that's the doll he chose.
Ross: Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! (He grabs the ring, kisses it, and then does a double-take realising where its been.)
Phoebe: No, but hes always late.
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Rachel: Well relax, hell be here.
Chandler: Okay. (He opens it and its a baby chick) Its a chicken.
(Chandler kicks the door closed, angrily. His clothes are askew, he looks beat.)
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Phoebe: No kind. He just makes it up.
Monica: Really, is he a swimmer?
(He takes the scissors, cuts the ribbon, shakes her hand, posses for the picture, and leaves.)
Girl: He touched my fanny.
JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
ROSS: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"
Chandler: He started mine first!
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
Monica: Hes so cute.
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Eric: But, he told me over the phone.
Mr. Heckles: He told me in person.
Joey: Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
Cliff: I dont believe this. You got him to pretend he was some fake doctor?
Janice: Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and gets married?
[Eddie tries his key and it won't work. He knocks and Chandler answers the door. He's got the door chained.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
MR. BOYLE: All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine".
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
Monica: (to Phoebe) Quick, take off your dress, he wont notice the bed.
Rachel: And um, excuse me, he helps me.
(Both he and Ross start laughing)
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Monica: Hes not gonna say anything, because were not gonna tell him.
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
Monica: Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that?
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Rachel: Hes perfect, hes never been better.
Rachel: Well maybe hes just taking a nap.