words in movies
Rachel: Youre gonna be late! Go! Go! (He runs out.)
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is in costume and standing at the craft services table. He checks his pockets and finds some prop coins in a pouch, which he replaces with some cookies.]
Joey: Yeah! Me too. (He pats his pocket.)
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
The Director: Okay, all right. Lets do it. (He walks off.) And Action!
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Phoebe: Ross, please! My make-up! (He walks away angrily.)
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Chandler: Oh my God! (He and Monica walk away.)
Rachel: Yeah! But I dont know what he looks like!
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is wearing sunglasses and as he exits his bedroom, Ross enters the apartment.]
Joey: Great! All right. Ill see you later. (He starts to leave.)
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
Ross: He left that.
Phoebe: Or maybe he-he was writing to tell her that-that hes changed his name, yknow? Tell Monica Im sorry.
Ross: I think it means he freaked out and left!
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Joey: Thanks! Okay-okay check it out! (Reading from the script) Picture? What picture? (He pauses then spits) Eh?
Gunther: Hes getting married tomorrow right?
Rachel: Oh but he did say that they found the grandmother wandering down fifth avenue.
Phoebe: Yknow she might not even notice hes gone.
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Phoebe: You told them he was missing?
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Ross: We are never gonna find him! Hes one guy in a huge city!
Phoebe: He could be in disguise, yknow.
Joey: What?! He got me! Owwwwww!!!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
(He hears Phoebe and Rachel coming and hides in the ice machine room.)
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
The Director: Im sorry Joey, as long as hes here and hes conscious were still shooting.
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
Ross: (turning a corner) There he is!!
Chandler: Ross! (He starts to get up.)
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
(He walks up onto the altar and notices the rabbi.)
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
Chandler: (in Monicas ear) Hes Greek Orthodox.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Monica: (To Rachel) He took off?
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Joey: All right, here you go buddy. (He tosses him one.) Go nuts. (Exits.)
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. Hes on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. Its watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
(Tims beeper goes off and he answers it.)
Mr. Zelner: (Sees that she has some ink on her lip from her pen.) Oh Rachel, uhh (He points to his lip to get her to notice the ink on hers.)
Sophie: Maybe hes intimated by really smart, strong, successful women.
[the guys form a wall between Mrs Geller and Mr Geller and dance across the hall as he walks across]
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
(He and Monica laugh)
Monica: Is he doing his shark attack bit yet?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
Joey: (on stage in an Austrian accent) Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Chandler: Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down while he zips his zipper up... other patrons look at him) How ya doin'?
Joey: And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her!
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Janine: Well yknow, hes blah, shes justshes very loud for such a small person.
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! That would be very helpful! Yeah. (He opens the door for her and she exits into the hallway.)
Ross: Hmm? Oh, yeah. (he makes a growling sound)
Monica: Okay, he's a lawyer, who teaches sculpting on the side. And- he can dance!
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
(He and Chandler crack up.)
Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
Monica: Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?
(Chandler motions to Monica that hell give her two babies.)
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
(He looks at Rachel and winks, she gives him the thumbs-up sign.)
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Gunther: He can have his job back.
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Monica: The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all!
Rachel: Wow! What did he say?
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
Ross: (He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Jill: No! I mean hes nice.
Jill: Fine, then lets just say hes not my type.
Rachel: Yeah but, hes not your type.
Jill: No! Yknow what Rachel? Youre right, yknow he has been really nice to me.
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
(He and Ross crack up again. Joey just sits there)
Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV)
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment.
Joey: Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I knew you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he need help. He's not street like us!
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Yknow youI couldnt concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember whats its like to be 19 and in love.
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Jill: Youll never believe what just happened, Ross just totally blew me off and he didnt even tell me why!
Monica: Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasnt even asked?!
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs.
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, you think I dont know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me! (He opens the door and feels inside.) Well what do you know! Broken! Thatll be $400!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Rachel: Hes coming over! Hes coming over!
Monica: Rach, hes a friend of ours.
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Rachel: He got it a flea market!
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.
(He does a kara-tay move to silence her, then answers the phone.)
Phoebe: Was it my work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?!
(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Chandler: Okay. (They both realize what he just said.)
Monica: No. Hes not a horrible guy.
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Joey: Wow! Uh okay, well uh (He gets up, opens a drawer, and pulls out the ring.)
Chandler: Oh, okay! (He rolls over to do that again.)
Phoebe: Okay. (He grabs his gun and shoots the bird.) Oh! Oh no.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Ross: Okay. (He does so.)
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Chandler: Im totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then theyre gonna go to their cast parties and hes gonna try to undermine me. Y'know itll be like, "So wheres your boyfriend, whats-his-name, Chester?" And shell go, "No-no-no, its Chandler." And hell go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
(Rachel yanks on his legs again and he groans in pain.)