words in movies
Rachel: He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much.
Phoebe: I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, y'know?
Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Rachel: C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.
Ross: What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad.
Ronni: Wow. He's strict.
Chandler: Basically we just feel that he's...
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out?
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Joey: He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.
CHANDLER: Wait, wait, wait. [Opens the top of the dish soap he's holding]
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
(Dr. Harad drops what he's doing and stares at her.)
Monica: I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.
PHOEBE: See, he's her lobster.
MONICA: Well, uh, he's a doctor.
ROSS: I'm telling you, there's no way he's moving back.
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
ROSS: No, he's at uh, Carol's and Susan's today.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
TILLY: He's kind of intense huh?
JOEY: Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.
MONICA: Wait, he's not here yet.
RACHEL: So, he's on the show, he knows what happens.
PHOEBE: No, 'cause he's yummy.
RACHEL: It'll never last, he's just a rebound roommate.
JOEY: Yeah, he's just really great to hang around with.
CHANDLER: No he's, he's alright, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room.
MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.
JOEY: Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will.
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's weird. I can't help it though he's so sweet, he's like this little puppy dog, y'know? But like a really tough one that shots bad guys. Ohh, I just love beginning parts of relationships, y'know?! You just like can't keep your hands off each other.
Phoebe: Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.
TRAINER: Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all.
MONICA: Aw, my little nephew. Come here, little one. There's my little baby Ben. Hey, my little boy. Hey, he's not crying.
Monica: Okay, he's a lawyer, who teaches sculpting on the side. And- he can dance!
Chandler: He's doing that weird eye contact thing. Don't look at him, don't look at him! (They both look away)
Mr. Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!
Monica: I'll bet he's totally over me, I'll bet he's fine.
Monica: He's seeing someone. I can't believe he's seeing someone.
Chandler: He's got nothing!
Phoebe: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back)
[Chandler's. He's playing foosball by himself.]
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy.
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Phoebe: Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'.
Amy: Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude!
Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.
Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
MONICA: Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up.
Paula: Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.
MONICA: So what, he's a little older, big deal, I mean he's important to me. Ya know if you ask him, he might take you on his Jag. [walks off]
Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
RACHEL: Oh, no, no no. I meant that he's gonna be paying that other woman beause she's a professional.
MONICA: Phoebe, he's a friend of my parents. He's like 20 years older than me.
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
(Ross does approve of this, but he's still not sure. The tiny figure stirs.)
He's finally happy with that and walks away.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
JOEY: Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.
ROSS: Look, I know you don't want to hear this right now but, we've seen him in his new place, alright. And he's happy, he's, he's decorated.
PHOE: Alright, don't say that. He's probably always been dull. You just, you know, set it free.
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Rachel: Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not, what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic.
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Susan: So he's got a doll? So what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up and be in show business.
Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
Chandler: Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?
Phoebe: So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. (Mike throws out everything in his mouth)
Joey: Whoa! For a rich guy he's got, that's a pretty small TV.
PHOEBE: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.'
Monica: (starting to get up) I gotta go water Pete's plants. (stops) Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Rachel: Because he's stealing from me!
[The next flashback is from The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line. He's telling Joey that he kissed Cathy.]
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Rachel: Oh, in my head he's done some pretty "not-gay-stuff"!
Monica: So, did you play in college? (She points to his NYU Soccer (football for the rest of the world) sweatshirt he's wearing.)
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
CHANDLER: Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank?
ROSS: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Chandler: Oh, yeah, he's my... he's my best friend.
Phoebe: I've had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart.
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Monica: Yes there is! He's black and white and shaggy and [Cut to Monicas apartment] he's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand.
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
MONICA: Yeah, he's just gotta get a shot.
Phoebe: See, he's her lobster.
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!