words in movies
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
[Scene: The Porsche, Rachel is driving along a highway and Ross has finally moved to the death seat and is terrified.]
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
[Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding. As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.]
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
LIPSON: Ahh, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Marcel has passed on.
(In the meantime, Rachel has returned with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.)
Monica: She has to know that your not ready.
Rachel: Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.
Machine: Your outgoing message has now been changed.
Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
Phoebe: So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?
(Phoebe has heard them arguing and comes down the hall, taking them into a broom closet.)
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
[Cut to the other side of the apartment, Ross has gone over to straighten things out with Paolo.]
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
[cut to later, Rosss team has the ball.]
Gunther: Rachel has those in burgendy.
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Joey: Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Rosss behalf. I-I think the rule applies here yknow, since she has a chance to get on broad back
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
[Scene: Rachel's office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.]
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler has the tape measure out and is busy lining up the lamp on the kitchen counter, Ross is supervising the whole operation.]
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.
Phoebe: Yeah, this has happened before.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
JOEY: I figure my character has kids.
Rachel: Monica, nothing has even happened yet, and you're already so...
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
JOEY: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!
[cut to later, Monicas team has the ball.]
Chandler: I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
Monica: What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman.
(She turns and looks in the mirror, and its way, way over done. She looks like she has two black eyes.)
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
Janice: Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost?
CHANDLER: Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, okay, but she's married, she has a husband.
[Scene: A Fire House, Phoebe has gone to break up with Vince.]
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, has Gary ever been shot at for real?
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Monica: Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon.
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Rachel: How could you not tell me that she has hair?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Ross: Yeah, either that, or he has a really big cat.
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Ken: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet".
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
Phoebe: (the fire has worsened) Oh my God!!!
Chandler: She has a real name.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Kathy: Yes! Yeah! Joey has great hair! Umm, Im basically done here. Just let me get this off your neck.
Cheryl: Okay, um, don't take this the wrong way, but your place kinda has a weird smell.
Monica: Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.
Rachel: Phoebe, the place has emptied because of him.
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there. Ross has a slip of paper that he throws on the ground tying to get Rachel's attention.]
JOEY: Oh man, she's so smokin, she has got the greatest set of. . . no guys around, huh.
Rachel: Oh gosh, it has something to do with numbers.
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. Theres a knock on the door.]
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Joey: Done! I did it! Heh, whos stupid now? (He smiles and has cookie remains all over his teeth.)
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
[Cut to still later, Rachel has now resigned herself to move and is now helping Monica. Phoebe is still on the chair.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.