words in movies
Ross: Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, wed still hang out?
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Rachel: No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?
Ross: Maybe this wouldve happened if Id been more nurturing, or Id paid more attention, or I... had a uterus. I cant believe this!
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
Rachel: Well, what happened to your jam plan?
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Rachel: Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist)
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Phoebe: Why, what happened?
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Chandler: Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
Phoebe: Yeah, this has happened before.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Phoebe: What happened?
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
Rachel: Hi. Look um, about what happened earlier...
Phoebe: But, also, what happened between you and your Mom?
Phoebe: What umm, what happened?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Joey: No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.
Dr. Green: What happened to the library?
Rachel: All right, thats it, you guys! What happened out there?
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
Ross: What happened?
Phoebe Sr.: So I guess youd like to know how it all happened.
Ross: What happened?
Ross: What happened? Joey?
Joey: Y'know, about what happened with us.
Phoebe: What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?
Bonnie: Hey, what happened to you?
Ross: What the hell happened on that beach?!
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Chandler: Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! What happened?
Chandler: What happened?
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
Joey: Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
Rachel: Oh! My hero! What happened?
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field?
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Rachel: Oh my God! What happened?
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Joey: (rushing in) Oh my God! What happened here? Did you do all this?
Phoebe: God, what happened?!
Kathy: Im sorry. If you wanna pretend that nothing happened, I can try.
Rachel: Look, um, I think we should talk about what happened on the terrace.
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Janice: Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened?
Chandler: What happened? What happened?!
Ross: What happened?
Monica: What the hell happened?!
Joey: (voice-over) ...and he couldnt let it go, and... I dont really know what happened with that either.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Mr. Treeger: Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money.
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Ross: What happened?
Ross: (entering) Hey, uh, Im really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today.
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?
Phoebe: So-so you two were married huh? What happened? You just drift apart?
Joey: What happened? What happened?
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? What happened?
Chandler: Yknow what? It seems like all of the sudden; so much has happened.
Chandler: Kind of? If you just kept this to yourself none of this would've happened.
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don’t think that that’s ever happened before.
Phoebe: So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me.
Phoebe: Hi, so what happened?
Monica: What happened?
Chandler: It happened in London.
All: Why, what happened?
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Joey: Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Phoebe: Okay, then what happened?
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Ross: What happened?
Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry!
Chandler: It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out.
Chandler: The weirdest thing happened at the coffee house, I think, I think Phoebe was hitting on me.
Rachel: Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!
Monica: What happened?
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Joey: What happened?
Chandler: So what happened?
Ross: Can we, can we just forget this ever happened?
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!