words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room, he's sitting there with Joey who's talking about his helmet and running his hand through that feathery thing at the top.]
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.) Ohh man! (Joey busts and loses all the money, but when the dealer starts to collect the cards Joey notices something.) Wait! (He holds his hand next to the dealer's hand.)
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Joey: My identical hand twin!
Chandler: What's an identical hand twin?
Joey: This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand (Holds up his left hand) twice? Huh?
Chandler: No! No! I support you 100%! I just didn't, I didn't get it right away. Y'know now I'm caught up! Identical hand twins! It's a million-dollar idea!
Joey: I found my identical hand twin!
Joey: No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin!
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
[Scene: A blackjack table, it's the same one Joey's hand twin was working at, only he's not there anymore and has been replaced by a beautiful woman.]
Joey: He's kinda tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this. (Holds up his hand.) See?
[Scene: The Men's room, Joey is entering and sees his hand twin washing his hands.]
Joey's Hand Twin: Excuse me?
Joey's Hand Twin: Do I know you?
Joey: (holds up his hand) Joey!
Joey's Hand Twin: Oh-ho, yeah. Yeah, the hand guy.
Joey: Okay, so what are we going to do about this hand twin thing?!
Joey's Hand Twin: Nothing?
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
Joey's Hand Twin: (tries to leave) I have to get back to
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Joey's Hand Twin: That's okay. (Walks out.)
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in thereOoh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
Joey's Hand Twin: Are you gonna play?
Joey's Hand Twin: You can't sit here if you're not gonna play.
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) 14.
Joey's Hand Twin: Stop it!
Joey's Hand Twin: Please stop it!
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
Joey's Hand Twin: Please, please take him too. (Motions to Joey.)
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) "Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!"
Ross: (He puts his hand over the hole on the box.) (to Chandler) Now, well see.
Chandler: Air hole! Air hole!! (Ross retracts his hand quickly.)
Monica: Hand me those tomatoes, Im gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them.
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Ross: So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand)
Monica: Hey, Rach, can you give me a hand with this box?
Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?
ROSS: Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand.
Erica: No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out.
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Phoebe: (walking back in with her hand over her eyes.) Umm, wheres my purse?
(Chandler slowly takes his hand away.)
Joey: Hello New York! (The woman bats his hand out of the way.)
Monica: He didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
Chandler: Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand?
Guy: All right, you have yourself a deal. (shakes his hand)
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
(She holds his hand for a little while then )
Chandler: I know, I can do this. (He takes her hand.)
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont know, I dont know. You know, I mean, on the one hand, Mother may I? But yknow on the other hand No. No, I cant. Were friends. No, oh, no. I dont want to risk what we have.
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Monica: (raising her hand) I'm Monica.
Ross: Dr. Green. How are you? (offers his hand, and Dr. Green puts his scarf on it.)
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Chandler: Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her!
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Monica: All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me?
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
(Rachel runs over and answers the phone with the blender in hand.)
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Monica: All right, hand me that other box of photos; that's the very last one.
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
Monica: Its the heat. (has her hand on his chest, and then pulls it away) And-and the humidity.
(Ross grunts something and hands her the pen he was trying to hand her.)
Monica: (slapping his hand) Hey!
Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.
Phoebe: Okay. (They shake hands and she pulls away suddenly) Oh my God! What did I ever do to you?! (Rubbing her hand.)
Rachel: (she's wearing an oven mitt to protect her hand) I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
(Joey pulls his hand out and reverts back to intense pain.)
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
Chandler: All right, lets play one more hand! One more!
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
(They all try and shake hands at once. They end up criss-crossing theyre arms to shake each others hand, and Ross says )
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Rachel: Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
Ross: Hi! (Rushes over to shake her hand instantly.)
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Joey: Oh uh, can I give you a hand?
Joey: (shaking Rachels hand) Hi!
Ross: Wh-haa-haa! Look what cha did! (Rachel has her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.)
Phoebe: Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with.
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
Phoebe: I wanna see whats in your hand. I wanna see the trash.
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Monica: Why do you want to see my hand?
Spokeswoman: ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...
Rachel: (entering) Hey! (Sees Monica, gasps, and runs over to her.) Oh my God youre here, let me see your hand!!
Rachel: No! You gotta hold my hand!!
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Chandler: Oh no problem, maybe Ill play with my left hand.
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Tommy: Ooh, sorry little Mr. Chic-A-Dee, sorry you went doody in my hand! (starts to walk out and stops) (to Rachel) Well, I guess were not going out anymore. Whaa!!!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Monica: Chandler? Can you give me a hand? (Grabs her jacket)
(Phoebe arrives, guitar in hand.)
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
Phoebe: I know. Hand me a tissue. (Monica hands her one.)
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her.
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Phoebe: Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)
David: Well, Im very glad youre here. (Kisses her hand.)
JOEY: That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! [she starts nibbling his hand] Hey. He-hey.
[Scene: Rachels outer office, shes returning with two coffee cups in hand to find Tag sitting there.]