words in movies
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Girl: He touched my fanny.
Girl: Thats my job!
Phoebe and Girl: Ewww!!!
Girl: Whatd you think I was, a hooker?
Isabella: Arent you with that girl over there? (points at Rachel, who waves back)
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Joey: Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her.
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Rachel: Ok... uh... maybe you're not always going after the wrong girl...
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Chandler: Hey hey! Where's the birthday girl?
Chandler: Ooh! That's my girl!
Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
Rachel: (To Emma) Hey! Hi, how's my girl?
Amy: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Chandler: I'm a pretty little girl.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don’t order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That’s a good way to lose some fingers!
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Joey: I'm gonna say someone I'm gonna have sex with. (the girl leaves and Phoebe goes toward the couch) (to Phoebe) Hey!
Girl: Wow, this place looks great.
(Cut to Chandler. He's walking around looking for Ross. He sees him kissing a girl next to a vending machine)
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
(from 5.15 - "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey")
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl, and then put her on your bed?
Girl: Me too! (starts to take her coat off)
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to.
(A young girl enters)
Ross: I wasnt farting! (To Mona) Uh, a little game from our table. (To the little girl) Yes?
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Joey: Hey, Im gonna call her later! Honest! Oh come on, Chandler used to do it! Hed even make the girl pancakes! Plus, hed make extras and leave em for me.
Girl: Who are you?
Joey: Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Phoebe: Can't a girl finish a song around here?
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. (she smiles fakely at him)
Ross: Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl.
Girl: I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.
Joey: Yeah. Sorry about that. (He walks away and knocks on the next door which is answered by a little girl.) Oh, hey little girl. Uhh, is-is your mommy, or sister, or babysitter by any chance a hot girl?
(Erica, the pregnant girl, enters)
Chandler: (shocked) She? It's a girl?
Phoebe: Yeah, and I have a definite feeling it's gonna be a girl.
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
Cliff: Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.
(the scene starts.Joey enters and there's a girl wearing a wedding dress near a bed)
Little Girl: Okay. (She drops her head in disappointment and walks away.)
Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes.
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Joey: Noo, (whispering) more like a notebook... Damn it! (next word appears: "blueprint") Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... (the last word is "Football field" and there are 5 seconds left) In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the...
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
Rachel: Oh my God! What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that-that would just sleep with him?
Joey: That's not funny! You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts!
Monica: Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now youre just a girl in a tub!
Monica: (points at the baby she's holding) This is a boy, (points at the baby Chandler is holding) and that's a girl.
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Phoebe: Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Supervisor: (walking by and overhearing that) (to the rest of the staff) The new girls good.
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Girl: Lelani Mayolanofavich.
Chandler: All right, think about it. Now remember when you were going out with that girl Donna and you guys broke up. Remember how horrible it was when you guys bumped into each other at the supermarket?
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it. It's the pizza delivery girl.)
Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!
Chandler: Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, "Bring me food." Two is, "Im with a girl, bring us food." Three is, "Im lost and I cant find food."
Rachel: No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, "Im Rachel Greep! Im Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in.
CHANDLER: I like this girl, okay, I seriously like this girl, you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy...
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Rachel: Make love? What are you a girl?
Joey: No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
Rachel: I accidentally kissed him in the interview, and now he wants me back y'know of course, 'cause "Let's bring the girl back who kisses everybody!"
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
Chandler: Guys! Guys! Come on! Its Thanksgiving, its not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, (to Joey) the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!!
Will: Thats right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
Ross: Well... (realizes, screaming like a little girl, trying to get rid of the spider) Whaa... aaah... aaahhh...
Meg: Well, I dont care about the divorces either, but I wouldnt date him. Its just that hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Ross: Hi! Listen uhh, this cat belongs to a little girl. There are flyers all over the place.
Ross: Umm, Jos a girl, its short for Josephine.
GIRL 1: So uh, you wanna go to Marquel's?
Chandler: (waking Joey) Hey, check out that girl! She is really hot!
MR. BOYLE: All right, there was none. Let's talk signing. You be noisy girl number one, you be noisy girl number two.
Chandler: And, ah, you know, your fooling around with her. And you get all these like, mental images in your brain, you know, like Elle MacPherson, or that girl at the Xerox place....
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there’s written ‘Julie, will you marry me?’ and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)
Phoebe: Yeah, hes really great though. He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.
CHANDLER: [running out of his apartment after a girl] Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. [sits down beside Rachel] Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor.
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
Rachel: Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder...