words in movies
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
MR. GELLER: Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
Mr. Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!
Mr. Geller: No.
Mr. Geller: Maybe.
Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.
Mr. Geller: So, how are you doing?
Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here.
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
Guy: Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.
Rachel: Um, there was a Geller Cup?
Ross: Oh yeah! Then how come you didnt get the Geller Cup?
Ross: The Geller Cup.
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you dont have to do this.
[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
Monica: Well, every, every Thanksgiving um, we used to have a touch football game called the Geller Bowl.
Ross: We met at Phoebes birthday party, Im, Im Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Hows the hired help?
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Mr. Geller: I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!"
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, thats what your Grandmothers hands looked like when we found her.
Mrs. Geller: Whats this? Blue nail polish?
Mrs. Geller: Hmm.
Mrs. Geller: Um-hmm.
Mrs. Geller: (laughs) Im not freaking out.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) (to Monica) Honey, dont bite your nails.
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
Mrs. Geller: No, I have faith
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
MR. GELLER: Of course not. With you it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
[Scene: The Gellers kitchen, Phoebe is bringing in some dirty dishes.]
Mrs. Geller: I thought it was quite tasty.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
Mrs. Geller: (interrupting) A bitch?
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Monica: Hi. Uh, you... you don't know me, I'm Monica Geller... Ross's sister.
Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Tour Guide: You mean Dr. Geller?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.
MR. GELLER: Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
Mr. Geller: C'mon kid, let's go.
Mr. Geller: Let's show 'em.
Mrs. Geller: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Mr. Geller: Oh my!
Mrs. Geller: You too sweethart!
Mr. Geller: Hi Rachel!
Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Mrs. Geller: Jack, thats what they call the subway.
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.
RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Mrs. Geller: I just hope...
Mr. Geller: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Mr. Geller: Okay, okay.
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.
(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Mrs. Geller: Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)