words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Mr. Geller: Yknow how the garage floods every Spring?
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Mr. Geller: Really?
Mr. Geller: Great!
Mr. Geller: Sure!
Mr. Geller: (grabbing a glove) This couldve been hers!
Mr. Geller: Your make-up kit? Id feel better.
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: There was also leaves and guk and stuff.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Monica is picking through her ruined childhood heirlooms with Ross.]
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Mrs. Geller: It was you?
Mr. Geller: What happened son?
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..
The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, Im a professor in the paleontology department here.
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Rachel: Oh-oh Professor Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Professor Feesen: Professor Geller!
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Monica: Well Im Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Benjamin: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kindve competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Rosss nose.
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Lewis: Professor Geller?
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Little Girl: Dr. Geller, will you dance with me?
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Little Girl: Dr. Geller?
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
(Mr. Geller dances over.)
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Mr. Geller: You stole my moves. (He starts to dance like Chandler was and Chandler stops.)
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Mrs. Geller: We really do feel bad about this though.
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Geller: Youre not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.