words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow.
Mr. Geller: Noted.
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Mr. Geller: Wanna peek?
Mr. Geller: Come on!
Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Mr. Geller: What?
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
Mrs. Geller: Oh thats all right, Im coming back later with your father.
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
STEVE: Excuse me, you're Monica Geller aren't you?
Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
FBOB: Geller!
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MRS. GELLER: Why?
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
MR. GELLER: It is off.
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
MR. GELLER: Everybody smile.
MR. GELLER: Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MR. GELLER: The button, the button.
MR. GELLER: C'mon kid, let's go.
MR. GELLER: Let's show 'em.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with him.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, it's my birthday.
MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, tell us.
MRS. GELLER: Really.
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
MRS. GELLER: A real doctor?
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
MR. GELLER: [enters with his bat] Found it.
MR. GELLER: Of course she would, you're a college man.
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
Mr. Geller: So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg?
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here.
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
Mr. Geller: They never did, so if ever see me giving them legal advice just nod along. Shall we?
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
MR. GELLER: Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
Mr. Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
MRS. GELLER: We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.
[the guys form a wall between Mrs Geller and Mr Geller and dance across the hall as he walks across]
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
Mr. Geller: No.
Mr. Geller: Maybe.
Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.
Mr. Geller: So, how are you doing?
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Guy: Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?
Ross: Oh yeah! Then how come you didnt get the Geller Cup?
MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.
Ross: The Geller Cup.
Rachel: Um, there was a Geller Cup?
[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you dont have to do this.