words in movies
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Rachel: (interrupting him and seeing Joey) Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives, just walked in here!
Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! (Answering the phone.) Go!! Whos this? (Listens) Oh okay, youre gonna like working for me. Whats your name? (Listens) What kind of name is Brendy? I Whatever Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
Phoebe: (yelling from Monicas room) No-no!! No!!
[Scene: A hospital, Phoebe is recovering from her heart attack as Ross, Monica, and Chandler are there to comfort and support her.]
Rachel: (awestruck, then not) Isnt that a line from the show?!
Rachel: Thats a line from the show too!
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Joey: (climbing down from his chair) Do you uh, do youready for a refill?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, continued from earlier. Monica and Chandler are still discussing the previous question.]
Rachel: The ring from the cave, yeah.
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!
Ross: Hey! All that stuff you said about true love, you were right, I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad! And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana. Ohh, yeah she really wouldve wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was.
(Rachel opens the curtains and sees Charlie coming out from the dressing room just next to theirs)
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
ROSS: Get away from me I said no!
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
MINDY: ...from the syphilis.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, continued from earlier.]
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
(Monica enters from her bedroom)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is coming in from the bedroom]
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
RACHEL: Agh, it was the graduation from hell.
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Rachel: (entering from bathroom) Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) What?!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
Monica: (entering from her room) Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, Pheebs, quick, what shoes should I wear? The black or the purple?
Chandler: Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
[Gunther gets up slowly from behind the couch and walks away sadly]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Ross: Oh, well this morning he got a call from who I think was our cousin Nathan, and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is in the kitchen as Joey enters from his bedroom.]
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Joey: Power saw kinda got away from me there.
Joey: (yelling from bathroom) Hey, does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles.
[Scene: continued from earlier.]
(Ross runs from the table, over the couch but slips and falls onto the floor)
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (Looks at Joey.)
Monica: Chandler, we still havent gotten an RSVP from your dad.
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school?
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope thats cool.
RACHEL: [comes up from behind the bar and startles Chandler] Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? [holds up Chandler's bracelet]
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.
Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.
RACH: Yeah, but how much can you tell from a look?
[Scene: Hallway, Ross and Rachel are returning from dinner.]
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Phoebe is trying to hide the bed from Monica.]
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
(There is the sound of a flushing toilet and Coma Guy emerges from the bathroom)
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
(Monica runs into the kitchen from the terrace.)
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. (He does so and the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay, who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground) ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Chandler: (from the shotgun) Hike!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Joey: Yeah! Wow, your like from a whole other country.
Joey: Ah well, the ah, Pennsylvania Dutch, come from Pennsylvania.
Chandler: No ah, hold on a second Joe, where do Dutch people come from?
[The next flashback is from The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line. He's telling Joey that he kissed Cathy.]
Written by: Marta Kaufmann & David Crane Transcribed by: guineapig With Help From: Rachel Stigge
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Rachel: Ohh, okay, Im sorry. Youre right. Yknow what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what youre asking of me.
Joey's Co-Star: Not if we extract tissue from the original host body, synthesize antibodies, and introduce them into your system, which could stop it from rejecting the brain.
TV announcer: Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, OK.
Joey and Monica: (jumping up from behind the couch) Merry Christmas!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
(We hear some knocking coming from the ceiling.)
Rachel: (jumping up from reading her magazine) Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan.
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Monica: I guess theyre back from their date.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
Joey: Well, Im pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
(Monica throws the ball over Joeys head, its stopped from rolling away by a very beautiful woman.)
PHOEBE: Ok, do you know how to go from D to A minor?
Chandler: (jumping up from his chair) Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke.
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... (she picks up this bug and it starts to play the theme from Love Story)
Robert: Well, Im from California.
[Scene: continued from earlier.]
Rachel: (running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes?
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are dressing up Ben in the entire rain suit from Rainy Day Bear.]
Rachel: But ah, youre safe from it if its in the freezer?
Rachel: For every night that youre asleep before I get home from work...
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Ross: It's from Ross, it's a love bug.