words in movies
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: (smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.
Rachel: Hey! Those are all the things Im responsible for!
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is standing in the kitchen ready to leave for the rehearsal dinner.]
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Joey: (pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Phoebe: Just for the future, this is hardly a commercial for it.
(Phoebe and Ross go to look for Chandler and Rachel enters Monica and Chandlers.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is reporting for work.]
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Monica: (starting to cry) Im so happy for me.
Chandler: Okay, excuse me for a minute. (Starts to leave)
[Scene: The Hotel, Rachel is walking through the ballroom area and comes upon the sign for the Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding.]
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Ross: (pause) Youre right, thanks for keeping me honest dad.
Ross: Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second?
Joey: So I uh, I just talked to the director. Thats it, were done for the day.
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
[Scene: The Hotel, Phoebe and Ross are looking for Chandler.]
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
{Transcribers Note: There was no trailer for this episode. See you in season 8; which will start this fall.}
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Joey: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you?
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts running for the bedroom) Im gonna get the ring! Im gonna get the ring! (Does so) Im gonna go find her and (starts running for the door) Im just going to propose!
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is reading Chicken Soup for the Soul as Monica enters.]
Zack: Uhm... no. Although I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Ross: Pheebs, youre talking about putting your body through an awful lot, I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and its all for somebody else!
Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
Conan: For example, I dont have to memorize lines. You guys actually have to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Rachel: Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
Rachel: I cant believe theyve been together for three years.
Cailin: I dont know. Could be because I dont feel like standing around all night waiting for some guy who may or may not scream.
Monica: Just, I love you so much. Just Its just sometimes it bothers me that Im never gonna have that feeling. Yknow when you meet someone for the first time and its new and exciting? Yknow that rush?
David: We enjoy watching each other. And I settle for watching each others performance, and we like each other.
Conan: Okay Friends gang, thanks for doing it.
Matthew: Well thank for coming here, its good to see you.
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Rachel: For you. (Chandler leaves.)
Rachel: Oh, thank you for doing that. I just cant deal with this just quite yet.
Bandleader: Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Before we go out there Ive got a present for ya.
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
Chandler: Bravo Dennis thanks for pleasing my mother so.
(Ross starts looking for table six and finds out that its the kids table. He sees Mona sitting at another table.)
David: For me, I have a hard time with le Blanc in particular. When-whenI mean when
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the yknow, "You can drive it, but dont tell Rachel" plan!
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
Dennis Phillips: Look umm Joey, I-I dont think youre quite right for this project.
Joey: Well, Id like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know youre casting for this new show
[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.]
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
[Scene: The Womens Restroom, Rachel and Phoebe are waiting for the outcome of Rachels second test.]
Monica: They wont be ready for weeks.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Phoebe: Ohhh! My God! For tiny salt!
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Monica: Good. Okay, Im just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
(Gary reaches up to grab that little light that cops have for unmarked cop cars.)
Chandler: Okay, you ready for the last picture?
Tag: Im ready for more.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's office. Monica is there for her eye appointment.]
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Rachel: No, I will. Im just not up for it tonight.
Joey: I do Rach. I do, and I so happy for you. (They hug.)
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Phoebe: Oh she was looking for you.
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Dennis Phillips: Oh my God, that was for my benefit?
(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
MICH: No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
Monica: We didnt get anything for anyone.
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Joey: Whoa, for like months?
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
Ross: (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.
Tim: Actually shes my-my boss. Sous is French for under.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Rachel: Yeah. Why? Is that weird for you?
Joey: And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?
Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me.
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is waiting for Tim who enters.]
Phoebe: Oh thats good, the chemistry thing for us too.