words in movies
Doctor Connelly: Ok, given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success would be surrogacy, or insemination using a sperm donor.
Doctor Connelly: And, of course, if you feel that neither of those is right for you, you can always adopt.
Ross: Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Charlie: So you're up for keynote speaker! Who's making the decisions?
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
Shop assistant: (to a girl) Incentive For Men?
Rachel: Pheebs, that's for men!
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Chandler: Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work!
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Chandler: So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!
Zack: Uhm... no. Although I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.
Chandler: (very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.
Monica: Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?
Zack: You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh?
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, good for you.
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Jeanette: (to Zack) Here are the boards for Friday's pitch (hands him something).
[Chandler can't find his money in the pocket. In the meantime, another couple shows up, and Chandler turns away to look for his money]
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal.
ROSS: Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys.
CHANDLER: I'm going to the bathroom now. [leaves for the bathroom]
SUSIE: Meet me in the bathroom. [she leaves for the bathroom]
SUSIE: This is for the fourth grade.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
MONICA: Just some stuff for the party.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
[Scene: A kitchen somewhere. Monica is interviewing for a job]
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Chandler: Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
JOEY: You're blowin' me off for a monkey?
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
CHANDLER: Well this one's for you.
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
Joey: Wow, Ive admired your work for years. You-youve done some really amazing stuff.
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
RACH: Ohh, well, isn't that just lovely. That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really, really, really long time.
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
CHANDLER: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
MONICA: Ross, come sign this birthday card for dad. Rich is gonna be here any minute.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
Ross: (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
CHANDLER: That's right my friend. It's time for...
Joey: Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.
Phoebe: Ten dollars an hour for what?
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip.
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
[Cut to London, we sit Ross sitting outside Emilys apartment. We hear Emilys phone ring with amazing clarity. Apparently, sound travels quite easily through the walls of British buildings. Anyhoo, Ross looks around for the ringing phone and in the meantime Emilys answering machine picks up and once again with amazing clarity we hear Emily say ]
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
EDDIE: I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while.
Eric: I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! Shes not a teacher. Theres not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
JOEY: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
RACHEL: Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
MONICA: All right. We're gonna go. It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then.
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
CHANDLER: For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something.
Rachel: Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal?
MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.
Joey: I dunno, I've been standing here spelling it out for you! (Goes back to the door) I don't hear anything. Oh, wait, wait, wait. (Looks through the spyhole)
MR A: Oh, no, please, I spent most of mid-morning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear?
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
ROSS: Good for you.
Monica: This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different, I... If you were a few years older, or if I was a few years younger, or if we lived in biblical times, I would really...
CHANDLER: Yeah, he's lived here for years, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about man.
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
CHANDLER: [grabs for seat belt] Where's my seat belt?
JOEY: He paid a lot of money for it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for a barbecue for Rachel's birthday.]
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
Ross: Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park.
JOEY: Who said it was for you?