words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Mrs. Green: For what dear? For not inviting me or lying about it?
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
Ross: Wait a minute, I-I believe Im entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn?
Phoebe: For how long?
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Ross: Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap?
Joey: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)
Monica: I can�t believe I did this. I can�t believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting �look at those tips�! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
Joey: Hi, uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio.
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
Phoebe: No no no, Ill be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
Eric: Absolutely. (They kiss and Phoebe heads for the door.) I love the way you kiss.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
ROSS: [approaching the mover holding the parrot] Hey hold on, hold on. How much for the uh, how much to save the bird?
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
Ticket Counter Attendant: (on the P.A.) This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
Joey: I got this pair marked excess, I gotta tell ya, there was no room for excess anything in there.
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for.
Monica: No time for that!
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
Ross: Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?
Mr. Waltham: Weve come for her things.
Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
Chandler: (to Robert) So ah, isnt a bit cold out for shorts?
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!
Chandler: For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Joey!
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
MONICA: Come here. I'll make you feel like one of the guys. You know for a really cool guy, you suck at foosball.
Ross: Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
Chandler: It's okay, the duck's using our bathroom anyway. (Kathy goes into the bathroom.) Hey Joe! What are you getting Kathy for her birthday?
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.
MONICA: Ok everybody, it's time for flan.
Rachel: Yeah. (She goes out to join her in the hall and starts looking for the dropped socks.)
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Monica: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?
(They all go pack except for Ross.)
Ross: No thank you for Thank you.
Rachel: That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice. (They hug.)
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
[Scene: The waiting room, Chandler is looking for Monica.]
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Phoebe: Tell him it's for you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is at it for the last time.]
Hold Voice: Thank you for your patience, youre the next caller.
All: Hey! (They all go hug her, except for Ross.)
Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Monica: (In a sexy voice) Come in. I've been waiting for you.
Ross: Thanks for the help, problem solved. (Wipes his hands.)
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Ross: For what?
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Joey: Me too, but I guess I do have a couple of more(his time runs out for real)
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Monica: Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. Its My Giant!
Chandler: Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go. (He starts for his bedroom.)
Rachel: Well, we were walking down the street and we saw that van that you guys used for catering and we realised
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? Weve got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
Monica: (Poking her head in) Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Jim: I write erotic novels, for children.
Monica: What?! You cant shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
Monica: Chandler! (Motions for him to come outside.)
Chandler: So, thanks for having me over! Rach. (Goes over, grabs her, and kisses her.) Pheebs. (After a moment while he decides how to kiss her around her belly, grabs her and kisses her.)
Chandler: Joey, can I talk to you for a second? (He grabs him and starts to drag Joey into Monica's room.)
Phoebe: Count for what?
Monica: Hey, don't blame me for wigging tonight!
Chandler: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
(Ross suddenly gets up and heads for the bathroom.)
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)
Phoebe: Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
Monica: Oh he's nice. He's nice! Y'know, you always stick up for the people we fog!
Phoebe: Oh No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. (Note: Actually, I think every guy is thankful for thongs. That and spandex. J )
Danny: Okay. (Heads for his apartment.)
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
The Stripper: Did anybody call for security?
Monica: Ugh, yknow, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York.
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.