words in movies
Ross: Except for "Match game"...
Monica: Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends.
Ross: He was roommates with John Rosoff. He went out with Andrea Tamburino. She dumped him for Michael Skloff.
Ross: Hey. Hey, check out the flyers for the band. I made 'em on a Macintosh in the computer room!
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Thank you so much for this.
Rachel: Pheebs, I... there isn't gonna be any flying about! We actually thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that.
Donny: Now Gene I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game, all right? Describe for Joey things you find in your refrigerator.
Donny: Uh, Gene, you're gonna have a chance to go to the winner circle in the second half. But right now Henrietta you are going to the winner circle to try your luck for ten thousand dollars, right after this, don't go away.
Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Roy: You were talking about me before! Look, I don't need this! I'm outta here! Where's my hat? (goes to get it) Look, I've been in this business for a long time!
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Monica: Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.
(Cut to Chandler. He's walking around looking for Ross. He sees him kissing a girl next to a vending machine)
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
Monica: For your information, ass munch, I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing. (A guy enters holding a pizza box)
Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
Roy: No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.
Phoebe: Your last dance. Do it for us.
(and another bell for the correct answer. "3 to win" and "What a dog might say")
Gene: "I'd like to go for a walk", uhm "scratch my belly".
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
ROSS: Good for you.
Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.
RACHEL: For...me.
MRS GREEN: Well, not just for you.
Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.
Monica: Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly...
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
PHOEBE: Yes, hi, Mr. Adelman. Thanks for meeting me.
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Chandler: You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
JOEY: Hey, whaddya wanna do for dinner?
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
CHANDLER: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
RACHEL: OK, I'm doin' it for ya.
(Chandler and Joey are dumbstruck for a moment)
[a voice in the background calls for makeup]
CHANDLER: OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.
[Chandler can't find his money in the pocket. In the meantime, another couple shows up, and Chandler turns away to look for his money]
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal.
ROSS: Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys.
CHANDLER: I'm going to the bathroom now. [leaves for the bathroom]
SUSIE: Meet me in the bathroom. [she leaves for the bathroom]
SUSIE: This is for the fourth grade.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
MONICA: Just some stuff for the party.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
[Scene: A kitchen somewhere. Monica is interviewing for a job]
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Chandler: Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
JOEY: You're blowin' me off for a monkey?
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
CHANDLER: Well this one's for you.
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
Joey: Wow, Ive admired your work for years. You-youve done some really amazing stuff.
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
RACH: Ohh, well, isn't that just lovely. That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really, really, really long time.
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
CHANDLER: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
MONICA: Ross, come sign this birthday card for dad. Rich is gonna be here any minute.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
Ross: (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
CHANDLER: That's right my friend. It's time for...
Joey: Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.
Phoebe: Ten dollars an hour for what?
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip.
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
[Cut to London, we sit Ross sitting outside Emilys apartment. We hear Emilys phone ring with amazing clarity. Apparently, sound travels quite easily through the walls of British buildings. Anyhoo, Ross looks around for the ringing phone and in the meantime Emilys answering machine picks up and once again with amazing clarity we hear Emily say ]
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
EDDIE: I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while.
Eric: I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! Shes not a teacher. Theres not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
JOEY: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
RACHEL: Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month.