words in movies
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
Rachel: Bye. (After Julie exits.) What a manipulative bitch.
(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)
FBOB: See ya. [exits]
(As Barry exits Robbie stares at Rachel.)
PHOEBE: Hey.� I'll be right back.� I've got to go to the bathroom.� (She rises and exits.)
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
(Phoebe exits)
(She exits just as Bonnie comes down the stairs, as bald as Michael Jordan.)
(Ross exits)
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Okay, Im gonna go get Frank. (exits)
Lauren: Gnight. (exits)
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
The Casting Director: Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two (Points to Joey and Raymond) or you two. (Points to Kyle and Ben.) (Exits.)
(She exits and Phoebe goes over and sits down at the machine that works your shoulders and tries to do one, which she does, easily.)
Mr. Treeger: Then I made the mistake of turning off the TV, I never got it back again. And Im sad. (Exits.)
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Rachel: Yknow what? No. Its not over until someone says, "I do." (Exits)
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
Joey: Later! (Exits.)
Ross: I'm going to the bathroom. (Gets up and exits.)
(Dr. Harad exits.)
(Ross exits.)
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
Chandler: Okay, good luck with that. (Exits.)
(He exits.)
(After she exits, Chandler enters.)
Ross: Right. (Exits.)
Steve: Okay, fine, whatever. Welcome to the building. (Exits.)
Ross: Oh man! I want that place so much!! I was so sure that was gonna work! There's twelve bucks I'll never see again! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
All: Good luck! Go get 'em! (Rachel exits.)
Ross: Oh, they'll like me. Once they come to my awesome PAR-TAY! Okay, I gotta run. I gotta go get some nametags. (Exits.)
Carol: Thanks. (Exits.)
Chandler: (shocked) Well I mean, let me get the door first. (Goes and opens the door.) Oh, hi! No one. (Exits.)
Rachel: Okay, well then how about a handshake? (She goes to shake his hand but misses and touches his groin.) Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch thatI mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you soHey! I'll see you Monday! (Exits.)
Rachel: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)
Chandler: I'll catch you guys later. (Exits.)
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Rachel: Okay, well, I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes. (She grabs a couple of the old pizza boxes and exits.)
(Gary exits and Monica rejoins them.)
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesnt seem so bad? (Exits.)
Joey: Ross, don't let her drink anymore! (Exits)
Ross: Later! (Exits.)
(Joey exits as Chandler shakes his head.)
Rachel: All right. Okay Chandler, enjoy your handful. (Exits.)
Chandler: Okay, bye! (Exits.)
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
[Chandler exits]
Ross: Totally. (Exits.)
Joey: All right, here you go buddy. (He tosses him one.) Go nuts. (Exits.)
[Chandler exits to the balcony.]
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
[Monica exits to the bathroom.]
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Monica: Bye. (Janine exits.)
Janine: Bye. (Exits)
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Ross: Oh that is quite all right maam. (Elizabeth exits.)
Joey: Yeah, whatever. (Exits.)
Lowell: Yup, and waaay out of your league. (Exits)
Rachel: Thank God youre pretty. (Exits.)
Jill: (happily) Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Sebastian: Okay! See you later! (Exits.)
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
Chandler: Bye! (Exits.)
(Exits.)
Rachel: Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. (Exits.)
Rachel: All right. (Hilda exits) Im a total pro!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Ross: (sitting up) No! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Oh, I see. (Exits angrily.)
[Rachel exits into the hallway just as Ross is coming up the stairs.]
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Ross: (slowly stands up and says quietly) Excuse me. (Exits.)
Joey: Hey. (He exits)
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey exits.)
Phoebe: Yeah! (She exits.)
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? Ill see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)
Rachel: Ohh! (Exits.)
Tom: Okay. Okay. (Exits and Phoebe checks him out.)
(Ross points at him and exits.)
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is wearing sunglasses and as he exits his bedroom, Ross enters the apartment.]
Rachel: Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. (Exits.)
(She exits and as Chandler picks up his coat, the phone rings and the answering machine gets it.)
Rachel: You know what Im going to do? Im going to get in my sweats, and eat this in bed! (exits)