words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Dr. Green: How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken?
Dr. Green: Its chicken.
Dr. Green: Ill never understand you lesbians. (To Rachel) So baby, tell me what is new with you.
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Dr. Green: Whats TiVo?
Dr. Green: Are you really pregnant?
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Dr. Green: Thats true.
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
(Dr. Green exhales in relief.)
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
Dr. Green: I just called a friend of mine.
Dr. Green: I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
Dr. Green: What is it sweetie?
Dr. Green: What?!
Dr. Green: I dont believe this!!
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Dr. Green: You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?! Im gonna kill you!!
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Dr. Green: You did!
Dr. Green: Oh? Really? Thats what my daughter means to you? Nothing?
Dr. Green: Oh really? Thats how treat a friend? You get her in trouble and then refuse to marry her?
Ross: (to Dr. Green) Hey! I offered to marry her!
Dr. Green: Well why not? So you can spend your time with this tramp?!
Ross: Im sorry. Dr. Green, Mona. Mona, Dr. Green.
Dr. Green: But what?! You figured youd get what you wanted and then dump her like you dumped Rachel!
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Dr. Green: (on phone) just because youre not in love with the guy you cant
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
DR. REMORE: I'm sorry Amber. It's just like Brad to have to have the last word.
[Cut back to the TV, the cops are leading Dr. Wesley out, and as they pass Remoray and Wesley exchange evil glances.]
DR. BURKE: [bobbing his head] I'll survive.
[Scene: Dr. Rhodes's Office, a rather large group of doctors has now gathered to take a look at Ross's thing. Ross is none too pleased with the developments, he has a disgusted look on his face.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
DR. REMORE: There's something I never told you Amber. I'm actually your half- brother.
Rachel: Joey, youre such an amazing actor! (He smiles.) How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?
Dr. Harad: They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.
Dr. Schiff: Any painful gas?
Dr. Leedbetter: We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.
Dr. Mitchell: God bless the chickpea.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Monica: Great! Its so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you Im all like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
Dr. Leedbetter: There may have been a-a joke or a limerick of some kind.
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
(They approach the young ladies. Dr. Mitchell consults Ms.Geller's admissions form.)
(Back at the couch, Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Rosen have concerns of their own.)
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Dr. Baldhara: Uh, how is he at handling small objects?
ROSS: No. [sound of Dr. Remore's body hitting the bottom of the shaft] Now maybe.
MINDY: I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber.
Chandler: Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan.
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
Dr. Green: Nice hair. Whatd ya do? Swim here?
Dr. Zane: We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach.
Benjamin: (looks surprised and un-impressed) That's not even kinda close! (Ross looks around confused) Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing?
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Dr. Gettleman: Would you like a lollypop?
Dr. Long: Youre about 80 percent effaced, so youre on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If youre anxious there are a few ways to help things along.
JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Chandler: Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pillman, career counselor a-gogo. (pause) I added the "a-gogo."
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, (The one he had when he was Dr. Drake Remoray, because he still is.) Rachel is there and admiring the big ceramic fake dog.]
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters, youre about to become a mom.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
DR. BURKE: No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
Joey: Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat.
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
[Scene: A Doctor's Office, Ross is having his thing looked at by Dr. Rhodes.]
DR. BURKE: Yeah, it sure does. [they hug and it turns into a passionate kiss]
Dr. Franzblau: So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?
Dr. Long: We are moving along, just slowly. (Rachel lies back and sighs.) Dont worry, youre doing great. Ill be back soon. (Exits.)
DR. BURKE: But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists.
Dr. Long: Shes fine. Shes experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall.
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Bobby: Hey, Dr. Farber.
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Carol: Dr. Oberman.
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Jason Greenstein's gagging.
Dr. Oberman: (entering) Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
Dr. Baldhara: Even if he were... cornered?
Dr. Roger: Yknow, its funny, but when we were studying communicable diseases
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Dr. Baldhara: Does he, uh, fight with other animals?
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Dr. Mitchell: (Smiling) Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell.
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
Dr. Mitchell: Hey.
Dr. Mitchell: That's because they are.
Dr. Rosen: Ah here, we brought wine.
Dr. Mitchell: So?
Dr. Rosen: (Nervously) okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into...
Dr. Rosen: So... they sss-still seem normal.
Dr. Franzblau: Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing?
Dr. Rosen: This is a great place. How long have you lived here?
Dr. Mitchell: I'll take a look at him.
Dr. Mitchell: Rachel.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
[Scene: Ross's new apartment, he is showing his boss, Dr. Ledbetter his new place and new outlook on life.]
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Dr. Rosen: This hummus is great.
Dr. Rosen: Good for you.
Dr. Rosen: Excuse me?
Dr. Mitchell: Really?
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, how's the ankle?
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi.
Dr. Franzblau: No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me.
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]
Dr. Franzblau: I'm gonna go check up on your friend.
Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.