words in movies
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Rachel is in bed, Ross is fooling around, and Dr. Long is checking on Rachel.]
Dr. Long: Well youre only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. Itll be a while.
Dr. Long: Ill be back in an hour to check you again.
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?
Phoebe: No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see whats he like. People tell doctors everything.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Dr. Long is checking on Rachel again.]
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Dr. Long: Three.
Dr. Long: We are moving along, just slowly. (Rachel lies back and sighs.) Dont worry, youre doing great. Ill be back soon. (Exits.)
[Scene: Room 816, Dr. Drake Remoray is entering.]
Joey: Hi! Im Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.
Man: Really? Ive been dealing with Dr. Wells.
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
Man: Dr. Wells is a woman.
Rachel: Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! (Starts another contraction as Dr. Long enters.)
Dr. Long: Twenty-one hours, youre a hero.
Dr. Long: Actually, I think youre ready to go to the delivery room.
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters, youre about to become a mom.
Dr. Long: Push. Push. Come on push for five seconds. 5 4
Dr. Long: Okay, the next contraction should be in about twenty seconds.
Dr. Long: Here we go! Okay, keep pushing! Wait! I see something.
Dr. Long: Its the babys buttock, shes breech.
Dr. Long: Shes gonna be fine. Okay, shes in a more difficult position so youre gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push!
Dr. Long: Rachel youre gonna have to push even harder, nothings happening!
Dr. Long: Good!
Dr. Long: Here we go!
Dr. Long: Here she is!
(Dr. Long hands her to Rachel.)
Dr. Long: Do we have a name yet?
Dr. Long: Thats fine, for now well just call her Baby Girl Green.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Dr. Long: Youre about 80 percent effaced, so youre on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If youre anxious there are a few ways to help things along.
Dr. Gettleman: Would you like a lollypop?
Chandler: Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pillman, career counselor a-gogo. (pause) I added the "a-gogo."
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, (The one he had when he was Dr. Drake Remoray, because he still is.) Rachel is there and admiring the big ceramic fake dog.]
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
DR. BURKE: No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .
Dr. Franzblau: So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
Joey: Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, it sure does. [they hug and it turns into a passionate kiss]
[Scene: A Doctor's Office, Ross is having his thing looked at by Dr. Rhodes.]
DR. BURKE: But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists.
Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?
Dr. Long: Shes fine. Shes experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall.
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
Dr. Roger: Yknow, its funny, but when we were studying communicable diseases
Bobby: Hey, Dr. Farber.
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Carol: Dr. Oberman.
Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Jason Greenstein's gagging.
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
Dr. Oberman: (entering) Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Dr. Baldhara: Does he, uh, fight with other animals?
Dr. Baldhara: Even if he were... cornered?
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Dr. Rosen: So... they sss-still seem normal.
Dr. Rosen: Ah here, we brought wine.
Dr. Mitchell: So?
Dr. Mitchell: That's because they are.
Dr. Rosen: (Nervously) okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into...
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
Dr. Mitchell: (Smiling) Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell.
Dr. Mitchell: Hey.
Dr. Rosen: This hummus is great.
Dr. Rosen: Good for you.
Dr. Rosen: Excuse me?
Dr. Mitchell: Really?
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, how's the ankle?
Dr. Rosen: This is a great place. How long have you lived here?
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Dr. Mitchell: I'll take a look at him.
Dr. Mitchell: Rachel.
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
[Scene: Ross's new apartment, he is showing his boss, Dr. Ledbetter his new place and new outlook on life.]
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
Dr. Franzblau: No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me.
Dr. Franzblau: Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing?
Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi.
Dr. Franzblau: I'm gonna go check up on your friend.
Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.
Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.
Dr. Franzblau: You're doing great, you're doing fine.
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Phoebe: Oh, it's Dr. Seuss!
Rachel: And if you need anything else, I(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.
Dr. Miller: Okay. You've got a small, minor infection in that left eye. I want you to take these drops three times a day and you'll be as good as new.
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)
Dr. Miller: This is a glaucoma test.
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Dr. Franzblau: No, no, really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know, where I do.
DOCTOR: Hello, there. I'm Dr. Carlin. I see someone's having an allergic reaction.
[Scene: Carol's room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau are there with her.]
JOEY: There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
MONICA: Dr. Burke, it, it's me.
Dr. Green: What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library.
DR. BURKE: Monica? My God you used to be so. . . I mean you, you, you, you must have lost like. . . You look great.
ERICA: Well, yes, yes, the best doctor in all of Salem, Dr. Drake Remore.
Dr. Franzblau: Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'...
DR. BURKE: I'm going to look into your eyes now.
MONICA: Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up.
DR. BURKE: You too.
DR. BURKE: See.
DR. BURKE: So, it's great to see ya.
DR. BURKE: Oh, OK, yeah. I'll see ya later.
DR. BURKE: Drops!
DR. BURKE: Yeah, since the divorce, when anybody asks me how I am, it's always with a sympathetic head tilt. [demonstrating] 'How ya doin'? You OK?'