words in movies
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Rachel: Oh wait, dont you have to pay for your, (looks at his magazine) Busty Ladies?
Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dont
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are dont you?
Phoebe: Most people dont like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and Im already going crazy. I miss Joan.
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Joey: I thought we talked about this. I dont like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isnt juice. All juice, okay?
Ross: Hey there little fella! Hey, uh-hey, why dont we get some shoes on ya, huh? Hey, why dont you show dad how you can put your shoes on, in your room! Yay!!
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Monica: Yeah I can! (Laughs) And dont think I dont, because I do! I mean all the time, you betcha! (Laughs.)
Monica: Say it louder, I dont think the guy all the way in the back heard you!
Monica: I hope youre hungry, were starting with oysters. And yknow what they say about oysters, dont you?
Monica: You dont want to know what tonight was.
Joey: Sure! As long as they dont find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.
Joey: Yeah, you dont want that.
Monica: Yknow, I dont have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure youre okay?
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
Phoebe: Uh, I dont think so!
Jack: Uh, Phoebe you-you dont have an office.
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Chandler: Well, that is what happened, and I dont even see you denying this!
Don: Well, we just had a terrible lunch today at Reattica. What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place?
Joey: Uhh, I dont believe in these crazy diets yknow, just everything in moderation.
Chandler: I dont know! Joey hasnt had this much trouble getting out words since we saw him in Macbeth!
Phoebe: Why dont you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Whatever you want.
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Rachel: No, no dont get mad because lookthis is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, "What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, ta-da!
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
Gunther: Dont wink at me. And put on your apron.
Supervisor: We dont need any toner.
Chandler: Yeah, well I dont think you can make that statement, unless youve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Rachel: Pheebs, I dont know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time.
Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Chandler: (angry) Well if people dont know they shouldnt just guess!
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you dont have either.
Chandler: Sure, why dont you set it up. Ill just be over here, browsing through the personals.
Rachel: Well yknow, its you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Yknow? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess Im not upset because I dont see you guys going through with it. Im sorry.
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Joey: No! You dont want to wreck it, you dont want to go to fast!
David: Please, clean my beakers. I dont get out of the lab much.
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Ross: One more time, "Hey, dont you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?"
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
Elizabeth: Oh, dont worry I have plenty of sun block, its SPF-30.
Joey: Yeah, but uh, I dont want to be up too late, so uh, Ill have a decaf.
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Tag: No, dont worry about it.
Chandler: Right on! Oh! Uh, but, dont take to long okay? 'Cause uh, we're gonna test out our fake ID's tonight, right Clifford Alverez.
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Tony: We dont have 50 bucks, but would you be willing to trade for it? Weve got a canoe.
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Cecilia: I am. I am, but I dont know you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy.
Chandler: I dont know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those insightful, great questions.
Supervisor: Theyre always going to tell you they dont need toner, but thats okay because whatever they say, you can find the answer to it here in this script.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Rachel: Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just dont date Ross! Theres a million other guys out there, you just
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Rachel: I dont know, something either trees or diseaseRalph mumbles a lot.
Rachel: Shh-shh-shh! The guys dont know yet do they?
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer.
Ross: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, by the by, did it uh, did it ever occur to you that, I dont know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
Ross: Uh actually, there-there was also that exchange student from Thailand but I-I dont think he-he knew what it was.
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what-what if Martin Luther King had said that? (Imitating what his famous speech would sound like.) I kinda have a dream! I dont want to talk about it.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Chloe: Well, youre practically dancing already. Why dont you just do it over here?
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Monica: So Don, what-what other restaurants do you like?
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Woman: Well, I dont know. Are you a masseur?
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Chandler: Trust me, you dont want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress.
Phoebe: �kay, see you there. Happy humping! (outside meeting Chandler.) Hey�hey! Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, don�t people know, you�re not allowed to smoke in public spaces?
Monica: I dont believe this! Wow, look at this refrigerator! Its gigantic! I mean I could live in this thing! Id be cold, but Im always cold. Oh my God, look at these spider burners! I love spider burners.
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, while were hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they dont go, rrroof!
Rachel: (panicking) No you dont.
Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Chandler: Well, why dont you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bale of hay!
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Phoebe: Okay. Umm look, youre coming on a little strong. But Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why dont we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself.
Monica: (throwing up the last present) I dont know how any of these got opened?!
Ross: Look. Look, I wasnt going to say anything to you, but... All right, I dont think you should be seeing Tommy anymore.
Don: Your food is fantastic! Wow, I really want to talk to you about your menu, once I get some coffees first. Um, anyone want any?
Rachel: Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, Im sorry, but I dont think that was a romantic thing.
Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, dont you worry, Im sure with your qualifications you wont need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.
Rachel: I dont know, it was you and a bunch of albino kids.
Cecilia: Right. Hes not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, its a little weird, but its getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, Im gonna miss this woman so much. I dont know what Im going to do! I mean, its been 20 years of my life.
Commercial: (in the background their singing Smelly Cat) Problem odour in the litter box? Dont change your kitty, change your kitty litter.
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Joey: (voice-over) Oh-oh! And then Rosss new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinced her to save her head. And then Ross and Rachel kiss, and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl and I dont know what happened there either...
Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don�t look stupid for my pictures.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
Phoebe: Hey, dont call him that! His name is Spackel Back Harry!
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Ticket Counter Attendant: Ah, sir a ticket to Yemen is $2,100 and we dont take library cards.