words in movies
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Ross: Yknow what, I dont know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.
Chandler: Okay, okay, but dont worry, because we also have cereals, muffins, waffles, and, jams, jellies, and marmalades. Which Im fairly certain are the same thing.
Ross: Here she comes. Dont say a word, okay? Just be cool, dont be y'know you.
Chandler: Well, that is what happened, and I dont even see you denying this!
Kathy: Ill tell you what, Chandler, why dont you call me when you grow up!
Chandler: Yeah, well, dont expect that to happen anytime soon!
Joey: I dont know, it smells good.
Monica: No, wait, please dont go! Ive got porn for you too!
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont need it.
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Phoebe: Why dont you ask him out?
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
Director: Really, ythink so? I dont..
Tall Guy: No I dont think so.
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Janine: Joey, you dont have to count down every time we kiss.
Rachel: Yeah. Dont do this to yourself.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Monica: Joey, you dont have too!
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Rachel: Joey, youre gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You dont get any dessert.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Joey: You dont think I know that!
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Rachel: (not sure of what to do) Yknow what? I dont, I dont think Phoebe really wants to come.
Phoebe: Okay then I dont have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Monica: Dont worry about it.
Rachel: Dont worry, were just gonna search here for an hour, them were gonna go over to Joeys and search, OK?
Chandler: I dont believe it. The most romantic night of my life and Im runner up.
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Rachel: I dont know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer, y'know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just dont want to be 30 and still work here.
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Ross: Yknow, I dont think were going to settle this.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Monica: I dont need a tissue! Im fine-d!
Rachel: I dont know. Do-do you have any clothes on?
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Jill: Oh, thats so great! Okay, Im really gonna do this! I dont know how to thank you guys.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, dont you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Rachel: Yeah but, you dont, you dont, you dont want to try to much too fast. Yknow? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast dont you?
Ross: I dont know what Im going to do. That date starts in like an hour.
Ross: I dont know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.
Rachel: Well, I-I dont like it.
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Chandler: Yeah, I dont you should say that even when youre healthy.
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
Rachel: Oh dont even ask!
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Monica: Yeah youre right. I dont know what I was thinking.
Joey: (laughs) I dont think so.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, you dont want to do that, then youre gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Jill: You dont want him, but you dont want me to have him?
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Jill: (entering) I dont want to talk about it.
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Rachel: Wow. I, I dont even know what to say. Thank you. (Gently kicks him.)
Chandler: (crying hysterically) I just dont see why those two cant work things out!
Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dont
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are dont you?
Chandler: No! Look, I dont cry! Its not a big deal! Okay?!
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Joey: Well I dont know remember exactly but, its-its pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Monica: I hope youre hungry, were starting with oysters. And yknow what they say about oysters, dont you?
Monica: You dont want to know what tonight was.
Joey: I thought we talked about this. I dont like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isnt juice. All juice, okay?
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Joey: No-hey-no! If you dont want me to do it, I except that. I dont care about that. I just I dont want you to be upset.
Joey: Sure! As long as they dont find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.
Joey: Yeah, you dont want that.
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Phoebe: Uh, I dont think so!
Jack: Uh, Phoebe you-you dont have an office.
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Ross: After one class? I dont think so.
Ross: Yknow what? Fine! Get attacked! I dont even care!
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Ross: Oh, why dont you make her one of your little jokes.
Chandler: Oh, its okay. I dont
Chandler: No you dontget it in black, not brown.
Rachel: I dont like sitting up here! Im just gonna over (She starts to get up.)
Rachel: I Well, I dont think they need any help.
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
[Scene: Central Perk, Sergei is teaching Phoebe how to sing American Pie, by Don Maclean.]
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Ross: No! No! I didnt do that. Its just Okay, honestly no. I dont, I dont see a big future with her.
Pete: Dont worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponents strength and weight against him.
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I dont know if I want it because it might be yknow, too many memories!
Chandler: We dont know what could make this go away.
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Rachel: Well, dont look at me! My hairs straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?