words in movies
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Phoebe: I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse.
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
Phoebe: Of course you don't sweetie. You're brand new.
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!
Chandler: Dude, don't do that too me!
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
The Doctor: (opening it) Don't worry son, we'll just attach it and(Stops suddenly.)
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh.
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Phoebe: I know. But don't you think that it should be called Order and Law?
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
Chandler: Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Jay Leno: (on TV) Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad...
PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
Ross: Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her.
The Doctor: I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were a little nervous, but don't worry everything's gonna be just fine.
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
JOEY: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
Gate attendant #1: Madame, if you don't have your boarding pass...
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Monica: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Interviewer: Don't, I like it dirty.
Ross: Shut up! It was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
Ross: Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel...
Joey: (smiling) I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died.
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Ross: Oh, I-I don't know, it's kind of expensive for a studio.
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
Joey: I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.
Janine: Well, I don't think there is anything to do. I mean I think you're really sweet, but I'm just not interested in you like that.
MONICA: I don't have her number, butt-munch.
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?
Rachel: (she's wearing an oven mitt to protect her hand) I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!
Rachel: Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Chandler: Yeah or also when you don't have somebody breathing down your neck ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY!!
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Rachel: Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Phoebe: Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type.
Chandler: Very, very funny, but don't say things like that in front of Monica. I don't want you putting any ideas in her head.
Phoebe: Well, we don't n-n-n-n-need a fireman, we'd, we'd like a good mechanic. (hears the sound of approaching sirens) Oh my God, here they come! Well, we gotta get out of here!
Chandler: No, I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it. (Forced laughter)
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
Phoebe: That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other.
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
CHAN: No, I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Steve: Oh look, you don't have to give it too me right now! You can slip it under my door. (Points to his apartment across the hall.)
{Transcriber's Note: The credits list two characters, Tia and Samantha, who I assume are the sweaty women Joey and Chandler meet. However, I don't know which is which, so I've simply called them Woman #1 and Woman #2.}
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Ross: I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.
Phoebe: You don't like ice cream?
Monica: Don't do what?
Tag: You don't like puppies?
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
Joey: (interrupting him) Don't do it!
Chandler: Please, please, please, don't be mad at me.
Tag: You have all the answers, don't you?
Phoebe: (interrupts him) No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away from my bedroom.
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
MONICA: I'm dicing, I'm dicing, I don't hear anything.
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Monica: I don't know.
Rachel: Well, uh, I-I don't know. See when-when you put it that way y'know it does sort of
Chandler: There's no-one around. Why don't we just take this one?
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Chandler: Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment!
Tag: A year. On and off. I kinda thought we'd end up together. I don't anymore.
Rachel: Barbara! Hi, how are you? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, pleaHello? Hello? (hangs up phone, very depressed)
Rachel: So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't! Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here!
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
Phoebe: I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.
RACHEL: I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Joey: Well, unfortunately, I don't get many callbacks so
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
Joey: Oh yeah? Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal. (Joey shies away.)
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?