words in movies
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Ross: Well umm, Ive been doing a lot more of my kara-tay.
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Ross: Oh. (He takes the notepad she was using and looks at it.) Wow! (Flips to another page.) Huh. (Flips another page.) Boy! (Flips another page.) Well, someones been doing their homework. (Flips two more pages.)
Chandler: Stop it! Were doing this! Lets do it!
Jack: What are you doing here?
Monica: Is he doing his shark attack bit yet?
Ross: Why do they keep doing that?
Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Joey: So uh, what are you guys doing?
Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Monica: Hey, what are you doing? You gotta save room, youve got almost an entire turkey to eat.
Phoebe: Wh-wh-what are you doing?
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Monica: All right Rach, for what its worth, I think that youre doing great. I mean yknow lets face it, no one handles this well.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldnt you be at work?
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Hi! Wh-what are you doing here?
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Chandler: Shes just doing her job!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!
Monica: Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience! Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.
Rachel: Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us?
Joey: So are guys doing okay?
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Monica: (opening the door) What are you doing?
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the table and Monica is doing something in the kitchen.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
Ross: What the hell are you doing?
Joey: What? What the hell am I doing? You just broke my fridge!
Rachel: What are you guys doing?
Ross: (stops laughing) What am I doing?
Ross: What are you guys doing later?
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Phoebe: I see what youre doing!
Monica: (still writing) Phyllis sees what Im doing.
Joey: That guys still doing that?!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming in from doing his laundry. He starts folding it as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: What are you doing?
Ross: What are you doing here?!
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Joey: (screaming) And now Chandler! Were all gettin so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Ross: How you doing?
Ross: Eh, her-her uncle already had planned on doing it. And yknow, we-we said our good-byes this morning, so
Monica: Wait a minute, are you doing Joey's (sadly) "Audition didn't go so well. (Happily) Yeah it did?"
Monica: What are you doing?
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
A Tourist: (To Joey) Would you mind doing a picture with us?
Rachel: Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!
Chandler: Oh, so youre already doing your part for the kids.
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Monica: What were you doing in Africa?
Monica: Oh my God! Then-then-then what are we even doing?! What is this?!
Monica: And yet, here we are doing it again.
Ross: Phoebe, oh my God! Wh-wh-what are you doing here?
Rachel: Hey Joey, what cha doing?
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Monica: Ugh, shes upstairs not doing the dishes! And I tell ya something! Im not doing them this time! I dont care if those dishes sit in the sink until theyre all covered withIll do them when I get home!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
[Cut to the flashback, Chandlers no longer doing the voice-over.]
Rachel: Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight?
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Ross: Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done.
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
Joey: What are you doing?
Rachel: Hi! Tag. What are you doing here?
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Melissa: Oh, I was gonna talk to him about doing something tonight.
Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
Monica: What are you doing?
Ross: (entering from the bathrooms) Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Chandler: Can you figure out what Im doing?
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Chandler: What is it doing here?
Monica: Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break youre doing frat guys.
Rachel: (gets up and opens the door) Hi Tag! What are you doing here?
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
[Time lapse, Ross is still doing Chandler's game. Tag is heading for the balcony.]
Ross: Hey! What's she doing back here?
Tag: Yeah, so, please don't fire me for doing this. (He kisses her)
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Rachel: Oh, hi! How are you doing?
Ross: I-I just thought you were doing so well. I
Chandler: And those guys were this (Doing the standard "This Close" gesture) close to lettin us play this time too.