words in movies
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
(The doctor, Dr. Harad, enters.)
Chandler: This-this Fonzie person you keep referring too, is that uh, is that another doctor?
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
[Scene: The delivery room, Ross has returned with another doctor. This one, is well, younger.]
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Joey's Doctor: Mr. Tribbiani, I'm afraid you've got kidney stones.
Joey's Doctor: It's kidney stones.
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones!
[Scene: Joey's room, his doctor, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Phoebe: Okay, doctor says any minute now.
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
Joey's Doctor: Would you like to see them? (He hands Joey a little jar.)
[Scene: Doctor Connelly's office]
[Scene: A doctors office, Rachel is on an examining table with her legs in the stirrups.]
The Doctor: (opening it) Don't worry son, we'll just attach it and(Stops suddenly.)
Phoebe: Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor?
The Doctor: It's too late, all we can do now is sow up the wound.
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Rachel: Well, I'm sorry I'm not going to an eye doctor!
(Chandler stares at the doctor, completely shocked. Monica just freezes and turns around slowly.)
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
ROSS: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Doctor Connelly: Ok, given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success would be surrogacy, or insemination using a sperm donor.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Joey: (thinking he's kidding) Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray.
Monica: Great! Its so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you Im all like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
Monica: Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you dont cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it wont matter to me.
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Doctor: Yeah, it's here in the paperwork we got from the clinic in Ohio.
Rachel: Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out.
(Carol's doctor, Dr. Franzblau arrives.)
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
Chandler: We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you?
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Aunt Lillian: The doctor says it's a matter of hours.
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!
Ross: Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found an 'M' and an 'O'.
JOEY ON TV: Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God.
Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.
Rachel: I meant er, (struggling to concentrate) young, young, I meant young, young to be a doctor. Oh good, Rach.
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Joey: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test...
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
ERICA: Well, yes, yes, the best doctor in all of Salem, Dr. Drake Remore.
TV DOCTOR: You're the only one who can save her Drake.
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
The Doctor: Hes doing just fine, hes resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.
ROSS: Doctor Burke is sexy?
MONICA: Well, uh, he's a doctor.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Phoebe is giving a pep talk to the petrie dish containing the embryos.]
Doctor Connelly: Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
RUSS: You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.
MRS. GELLER: A real doctor?
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Cliff: I dont believe this. You got him to pretend he was some fake doctor?
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Ross: Yeah, Im gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall.
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Chandler: The doctor.
The Doctor: (seeing theyre not identical) But uh, this is a study for identical twins.
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Ross: (stopping her from falling) Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay?
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The-the on-call doctor will see me now.
Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Joey: Doctor? Wow! I didnt know he had a nickname.
The Doctor: Doctors are wrong all the time.
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
The Doctor: Thats it.
The Doctor: Actually, giving birth to three babies isnt that different from giving birth to one.
Phoebe: You mean like a doctor?
The Doctor: Definitely. (Points out each head on the ultrasound.)
The Doctor: No, Im getting three separate heartbeats.
The Doctor: (coming in from surgery) Somebody lose a ring?
Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor. (She walks away.)
Phoebe: Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor
The Doctor: Did you bring the toe?
The Doctor: It says here that the knife went right through your shoe.
The Doctor: What do we got here?
The Doctor: You brought a carrot.
The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
DOCTOR: No, it's just a good bone bruise. And, right here is the puncture wound from your ring.
The Doctor: Hi Rachel!
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!
(Rachel heads for the door but is intercepted by the doctor.)
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?