words in movies
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much.
The Casting Director: Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two (Points to Joey and Raymond) or you two. (Points to Kyle and Ben.) (Exits.)
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay, Raymond, Joey you're up.
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
The Casting Director: Is there a problem?
The Casting Director: Y'know, that's-that's fine, but the line is, "Hmm, soup."
The Casting Director: Hmm, noodle soup.
The Casting Director: All right, let's try one.
The Casting Director: Okay. Let's do it again.
The Casting Director: Y'know what? We need to move on.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
Director: Have fun.
Director: Lovely, just lovely.
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Director: All right, let's do it!
The Director: Yes?
Director: No, no, no. What was that?
Director: Well, people!
The Director: Joe. Hows it going?
The Director: You ready to go?
The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, hes good looking.
Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
The Director: (leaning in) Kate?
The Director: You guys make me fly! High! Okay, were gonna pick it up here, tomorrow.
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Stage Director: Back on in 30 seconds people!
Stage Director: This will be your phone.
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
Director: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action....and cut. What was that?
Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor. (She walks away.)
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Stage Director: No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones.
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
The Casting Director: Any time you're ready, Joey.
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
The Casting Director: Sure. What?
The Casting Director: Okay, anytime.
The Casting Director: I think we've seen enough!
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Casting Director #1: Whenever youre ready.
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
Casting Director #1: Oh my God!!
Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?
Casting Director #2: No.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
[Scene: Casting Director #3s office, Joey is entering.]
The Director: Uh sure.
The Director: All right, from the top.
The Director: Action!
The Director: And Action!
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
Director: Really, ythink so? I dont..
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Director: OK, everyone gather up.
Director: Okay, everybody hold!
The Director: All right! Lets try this again! You ready Joe?
Casting Director #1: Hold it. Im sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less intense?
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
The Casting Director: Okayyyy! Anddd, go!
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
(The director shakes his head.)
Director: Whats going on over here?
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Director: Cut!
The Casting Director: Umm, do you sell these bags?
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember youre supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
Director: Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out.
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
The Director: And cut!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
The Casting Director: Hi-hi Joey.
The Director: Cut!
(The casting director shakes her head.)
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"
The Director: Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you!
The Casting Director: Okay.
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
The Director: Yeah.
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
The Assistant Director: (approaching) Hey Joey! Were ready.
The Director: Watch again that hand.
The Director: What kind of surgery?!
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
The Director: What?!
The Director: But youre not bald.