words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Mike: Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra.
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Rachel: Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Monica: (smiling)That was a good day!
Rachel: Yeah, that was an awesome day!
Ross: No, no, really, Ive got to take the car back anyway, Im spending all day tomorrow with Ben, Its fine, no guilt I promise.
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first
Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.
Receptionist: (in an affected tone) Hello, welcome to Lavender Day Spa SPA. How may I help you?
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Receptionist: Here's your schedule for the day. Your first client is in room No. 1.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Chandler: Oh, ain't this nice? It's so quiet, I could just lie here all day.
Ross: And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Phoebe: Who's day just got better? CHANDLER!
Phoebe: Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together.
Frank Jr.: Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
Rachel: Well, can't you just go to Vermont the next day?
Rachel: No, that day... that won't be her real birthday!
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Joey: (getting an idea) Hey, y'know what a really good rainy day game is?
Phoebe: It’s for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Ross: Well, I... I am having a good hair day.
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, happy needless-turkey-murder day.
Chandler: Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go!
Ross: It's a day to be thankful.
Ross: You won an adult Thanksgiving day spelling bee.
Joey: (angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day.
Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
Phoebe: Oh, happy my wedding day to you!
Rachel: Happy wedding day!
Monica: I think we are getting a little ahead of selves here. Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work.
Chandler: Oh, thats Parents Day, first grade. Thats me with the janitor Martin.
Ross: ...Valentine's day...
Joey: Yeah, shes been in there all day (Points to her room), uh high fever, a nose problem Phlegm! Phlegm! Phlegm-phlegm-phlegm!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Ross: This is the single greatest day of my professional career. Gunther, six glasses!
Rachel: Oh, well, (looks at her box and chair) you're not catching me on my best day.
Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.
Joey: Sure. I went through the exact same thing with Alicia Mae Emory... The waiting, the wandering... Then one day... I get that call from Toys "R" Us... She was in stock!
Chandler: Now that you live next door, we can be together every day. Sid and Monica never have to know a thing.
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
Chandler: Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Phoebe: No! Think about it okay? This isnt even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, youre my first call! And-and somebody else mightve hung up on you, but I wouldnt do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler and Joey are there as Rachel returns from her interview.]
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you know I'm i'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the cookie trying period has pasted. Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are reflecting on the days events.]
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Ross: You had a rough day, uh?
Mr. Thompson: And finally, our biggest item of the night, the 22-foot gentlemans day sailer sailboat. The winning bid was a whooping $20,000! (Joey suddenly gets excited.)
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Joey: Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? Im home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess theres a few things you dont get from book learnin.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and dont come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my (Rachel knocks the plate from his hand and it falls on the floor. That process leaves just the forkful Chandler has, Rachel starts to go after that little bit and Chandler retreats into his apartment.)
Chandler: Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentines Day gifts?
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Joey: Yeah-yeah, and if I get it by day Ill (In a sexy voice) Dr. Drake Remoray, but by night Ill be (In an announcers voice) Joey Trrrribbiani!
Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
Rachel: Oh, I dont know, I guess, Chris ODonnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
Chandler: Y'know I rued the day once didn't get a whole lot else done.
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
Phoebe: I�m starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day.
Ross: Well, Ill-Ill be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Monica: Youre just new at this, itll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldnt have been easy but you figured that out.
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
ROSS: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.