words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
Charlie: (while Joey's giving her a massage) Oh! That feels sooo good!
Charlie: I'm sorry, what?
Charlie: From... Cosmo??
Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!
Joey: Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.
Charlie: I'm sure you have better things to do.
Charlie: If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help.
Joey: (to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, I'm-I'm taking Charlie shopping, why don't you come and I'll help you find something.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on the couch. Rachel enters]
Charlie: Oh, yeah! Let's do it!
Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)
Charlie: Umh... Kurts Baley?
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Charlie: So you're up for keynote speaker! Who's making the decisions?
Charlie: He's a pretty tough guy to impress.
Charlie: We'll see you, guys! (she goes)
[Scene: Shop, Rachel, Charlie and Phoebe walk in]
Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?
Charlie: See, I told you I needed someone! Oh, you know, by the way, as a "thank you", I would really love to take you out.
Charlie: Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come?
Charlie: You've seen all the movies...
Charlie: Wha, you know, maybe we can do something else!
Phoebe: So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie?
(Rachel opens the curtains and sees Charlie coming out from the dressing room just next to theirs)
Phoebe: Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?
(Phoebe moves in the dressing room from which Charlie went out)
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Rachel: (to Charlie) Hey, hi! Hey, where've you been?
Charlie: Oh! trying on clothes.
Charlie: (smiling) Rachel... I heard you guys whispering.
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
Charlie: Wow!
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
(Charlie and Rachel arrive. They see David and Phoebe leave)
Charlie: Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with?
Charlie: There's a third guy?
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Ross: (very bored, he tries to avoid the conversation speaking to Charlie) So, where did you get your undergraduate degree?
Charlie: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
Charlie: So I am just so excited to be here. And I can't wait to start exploring the city!
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Charlie: Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room?
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Ross in the living room, rehearsing what Joey will say to Charlie in the Museum]
Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book...
Charlie: Oh, well, we can go see the Chronos Quartet at the Avery Fisher Hall.
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Charlie: You blew them away!
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Charlie: (smiling broadly) I was not!
Charlie: Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish.
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!
Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
Charlie: I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell?
Charlie: Yeah, it's fun (hesitating).
Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!
Monica: My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie.
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around.
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Second message: "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie"
Charlie: (to Gunther) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
Charlie: Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us?
Ross: (hitting Monica with his suitcase) (to Charlie) We should probably get going, you know, we got a lot of ground to cover.
[Scene: Ross, Charlie and Professor Spafford are sitting at the table in a restaurant]
Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him?
Charlie: Oh my God!!
Charlie: Kinda playing fast and loose with the word "interesting".
Ross: (to Charlie) Oh, it's not over!
Charlie: Let's ditch him!
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Charlie: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. (she cuts herself off for a moment)
Charlie: Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! (they run outside)
Charlie: Yeah...
Charlie: Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with.
(cut to Ross and Charlie)
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Rache: How is it going with Charlie?
Charlie: No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant.
Ross: (to Rachel) Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Charlie: Oh, you know what? I'll come with you!
Ross: Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department.
Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick.
Charlie: Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.
Charlie: A guy who won two.
Charlie: Yeah... for three years.
Charlie: Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues...
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)
Charlie: I'm good!
Charlie: Hi!
(somebody knocks the door, Joey opens and it's Charlie)
Charlie: No, no, no, not the Mets, the MET, singular!
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...
Charlie: And first, I have to see the MET!
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Charlie: The museum!
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Charlie: Hi!
(Charlie walks in.)
Charlie: The museum was amazing!
Charlie: Hey!
Charlie: No, we went to the left.
Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
Charlie: Not so much, no. He had clearly memorized all the stuff to say, and some of it didn't even make any sense.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot!
Charlie: Yeah, I guess that's true.
Joey: (to Charlie) You're ready?
Charlie: Yeah, let's go. (stands up and kisses Joey) (to Ross) Thanks Ross.
Charlie: Oh my God! Did you talk to him?
Charlie: Wow! This place is beautiful!