words in movies
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
Charlie: Ooh... Dr. Geller!
Monica: Oh my God, that's Charlie!
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Charlie: uhm... Is everything okay?
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Charlie: I uhm... I completely understand.
Charlie: Okay...
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
Ross: And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.
Joey: Well, he's with Charlie now.
Rachel: Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now.
(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)
Charlie: So, did you talk to Joey?
Charlie: Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller!
Charlie: PHD
Charlie: It's so... something... You go girlfriend!
Charlie: Not once.
Joey: Whoo, whoo. Wow, it's uhm... kinda weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.
Joey: Look, does someone mind switching to sit with Charlie?
Ross: Oh, I uh, I mean, I... dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie.
(cut to Charlie and Ross)
Charlie: Okay... Good luck.
Ross: So, I uhm... kinda need to talk to you about Charlie.
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.]
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
Charlie: Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man.
Charlie: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.
Charlie: Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and... other poultry.
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Charlie: Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations!
Ross: (very bored, he tries to avoid the conversation speaking to Charlie) So, where did you get your undergraduate degree?
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Charlie: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
Charlie: So I am just so excited to be here. And I can't wait to start exploring the city!
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Ross in the living room, rehearsing what Joey will say to Charlie in the Museum]
Charlie: Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room?
Charlie: You blew them away!
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Charlie: Oh, well, we can go see the Chronos Quartet at the Avery Fisher Hall.
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Charlie: Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish.
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book...
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!
Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
Charlie: Umh... Kurts Baley?
Charlie: (smiling broadly) I was not!
Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
Charlie: Yeah, it's fun (hesitating).
Charlie: I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell?
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Second message: "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie"
[Scene: Ross, Charlie and Professor Spafford are sitting at the table in a restaurant]
Charlie: Oh my God!!
Charlie: Kinda playing fast and loose with the word "interesting".
Ross: (to Charlie) Oh, it's not over!
Charlie: Let's ditch him!
Ross: Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department.
Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).
Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!
Monica: My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie.
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him?
Charlie: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. (she cuts herself off for a moment)
Charlie: Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! (they run outside)
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick.
Charlie: Yeah...
Charlie: Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with.
(cut to Ross and Charlie)
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Ross: (to Rachel) Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Charlie: Oh, you know what? I'll come with you!
Charlie: No, no, no, not the Mets, the MET, singular!
Charlie: And first, I have to see the MET!
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Charlie: The museum!
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Charlie: No, we went to the left.
Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
Charlie: Not so much, no. He had clearly memorized all the stuff to say, and some of it didn't even make any sense.
Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot!
Charlie: Yeah, I guess that's true.
Charlie: Hey!
Charlie: Yeah, let's go. (stands up and kisses Joey) (to Ross) Thanks Ross.
Joey: Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.
Charlie: I'm sure you have better things to do.
Charlie: If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help.
Charlie: Oh, yeah! Let's do it!
Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)
Charlie: We'll see you, guys! (she goes)
Charlie: Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.
Charlie: A guy who won two.
Charlie: Yeah... for three years.
Charlie: Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues...
Rache: How is it going with Charlie?
Charlie: No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant.
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)