words in movies
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Chandler: Okay, let me just straighten out your helmet there. (Does so.)
Ben: (To Chandler) Thanks daddy.
Chandler: Okay. Okay.
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is cooking, Joey is eating, and Chandler is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Hey! What are you guys doing?
Chandler: Im sorry, who?
Chandler: But we dont know the neighbors.
Chandler: Wouldnt it be easier if we just moved?
Chandler: Eh, somebodys in a good mood!
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
Chandler: Well, either that or uh (Motions towards Joeys door.)
Phoebe: (starts to leave, but stops) Oh and Chandlers about to cry.
Chandler: (about to cry) Am not!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
Monica: Oh please! (To Chandler) Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven.
Chandler: (laughs) 4:00 A.M.
Chandler: I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.
Chandler: Mm! Night Gar! (Monica closes the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Joey: Almost cried huh? Hear that Chandler? Almost cried!
Chandler: Hey, you cry every time somebody talks about Titanic!
Chandler: Hey! So are you enjoying the bike?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Chandler: (with his mouth full) What happened? Im just eating candy.
Chandler: Absolutely! Yknow, because touchie can mean both ass and good worker.
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
Joey: (watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Chandler: Yknow what would work?
Chandler: Stop making candy!
Chandler: You mean they like you.
Chandler: Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you?
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy like mad as Ross enters.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is returning from work to see the hallway jammed full of people waiting outside their door.]
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
Chandler: Joey!
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Chandler: No not (imitating) Candy Lady.
Chandler: All right, yknow what? Forget it, all of you forget it! Youve ruined it! Go home! Youve ruined it! Youve ruined it!
Joey: Thats right, its all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! (Steps into the apartment and Chandler closes the door.) (Joey struts over to the candy and starts eating it.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Thank you.
Chandler: Youre welcome. (They kiss.)
Chandler: No! Smokes-A-Lot Lady blew smoke directly into my mouth. Eh-uhare you okay?
[Chandler enters]
CHANDLER: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
CHANDLER: Like, when you're cooking a steak.
CHANDLER: Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done.
CHANDLER: OK, then, eat me, I'm done.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
CHANDLER: You want me to wear your panties?
CHANDLER: We don't need to remedy that.
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
Chandler: Well Ive been playing it for like eight hours, itll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, theyre dirty words.
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: Oh.
CHANDLER: I'm going to the bathroom now. [leaves for the bathroom]
CHANDLER: OK.
Chandler: (Very defensive.) Im not seeing Monica.
CHANDLER: Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right?
CHANDLER: Alrighty. [we see Chandler's pants drop from under the stall door]
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
CHANDLER: What, what's what you mean?
CHANDLER: Huh? Where, whaddya mean?
Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...
CHANDLER: Joey!
CHANDLER: Joey?
CHANDLER: Oh, no no no, she took off with my clothes.
CHANDLER: No, no, this is the first time.
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
CHANDLER: I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
CHANDLER: No, no, you don't have to see.
(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)
CHANDLER: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
CHANDLER: Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
CHANDLER: What's this?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony.
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Chandler: (rubbing his temples) Oh, no-no-no-no-no....
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
CHANDLER: I so am.
CHANDLER: Alright, one of you give me your underpants.
CHANDLER: Oh, she's goin' somewhere.
Joey: Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
CHANDLER: No, I'm alright, thanks.
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
[Chandler rips off the sheet of paper from the printer.]
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
CHANDLER: That's great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
Chandler: What are you crazy? That's a baby!
CHANDLER: Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.
Chandler: See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!
CHANDLER: I can't believe it.
CHANDLER: Well this one's for you.
CHANDLER: Hey.
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
CHANDLER: That's what they'll call us.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
CHANDLER: Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
CHANDLER: Work on your music?
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
CHANDLER: [sits down] Ohh yes.
CHANDLER: Congratulations!
CHANDLER: So uh, which one is mine?
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
CHANDLER: I didn't know it was a big secret.
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
(Chandler kicks the door closed, angrily. His clothes are askew, he looks beat.)
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
CHANDLER: I'll cancel the sodas.
Chandler: Oh, Im taking my ex-girlfriend of my speed dialer.
CHANDLER: So how'd it go?
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: It's the Miracle Wax.
CHANDLER: Listen can you guys uh, speak up, it's harder for us to hear you when you lower your voice.
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
CHANDLER: Phoebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies?
CHANDLER: She's one of us now.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Hey.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Goodnight.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, woah, hey, woah.
CHANDLER: Well maybe he was nervous.
CHANDLER: Hey. Hold on a second. [shoots a goal] Huh?