words in movies
[Chandler and Joey enter.]
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.
CHANDLER: And twenty-five it is.
CHANDLER: Phoebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.]
CHANDLER: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.
CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: What's in the bag?
CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.]
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
CHANDLER: Who said anything about Christmas?
CHANDLER: So whaddya got there Monica?
CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
CHANDLER: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab. . . hop in.
CHANDLER: Hey, don't worry. I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, we'll still have plenty of time.
Chandler: Hey.
[Phoebe runs over the curb. Joey gets in the back seat, Chandler in the front]
CHANDLER: Eeeshk.
CHANDLER: OK.
PHOEBE: Alright, here, you have to hold this. [hands Chandler a piece of paper]
CHANDLER: OK. [reads paper] Brake left, gas right?
CHANDLER: [grabs for seat belt] Where's my seat belt?
PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]
CHANDLER: [Chandler gets in the back seat] Hey!
JOEY: Hey. [Phoebe takes off, Joey and Chandler are thrown back in the seat]
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
CHANDLER: Oh, so that's what this is for.
CHANDLER: Yeah.
CHANDLER: Alright.
CHANDLER: Alright, we're gettin' closer.
CHANDLER: Well, so why not go knock?
CHANDLER: Yeah, and someday when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges.
CHANDLER: Oh, that's OK, we'll figure something out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!
CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
CHANDLER: OK, Phoebs, your turn.
CHANDLER: And, a lemon lime.
CHANDLER: And last but not least.
[Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.]
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want from me?
Chandler: I am pretending.
Chandler: Can I sleep on your couch?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Chandler: Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
Chandler: Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Chandler: Okay, but that's, like, the easiest era.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Chandler: Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
Chandler: Yeah, I-I-I think so. (Pauses and thinks about it for a second) Yeah, I-I think so...
Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he, he got up y'know, and he just started like, (claps his hands) banging his hands together!
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.
Chandler: Okay, so when do you want to go?
Chandler: (confused) Sure...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Rent?
Chandler: A pen.
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Chandler: For three years?
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Chandler: (interrupting) All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel, Rachel is there, Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Chandler: Where?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Chandler: Oh yeah? That's great!
Chandler: Hey, how'd it go? How'd she like the gift?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Chandler: Oh, yeah... yeah.
Chandler: Happy birthday! I'm sorry.
Chandler: Hey! Happy birthday.
Chandler: No he didn't. [Moving it back.]
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
Chandler: Uh, the book?
Chandler: [to Kathy] Goodnight.
Chandler: What do you mean?
Chandler: Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time.
Chandler: Goodnight. (Goes to his room.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, he's my... he's my best friend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.]
Chandler: (rushing up) Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that?
Chandler: Wait! Youre going out with Kathy!
Chandler: (shocked) What?
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh my God! Play!
Chandler: You mean like, music?
Chandler: Come in!
Chandler: I don't know... um, Grease?
[Scene: The conference room in Tulsa again, Chandler is trying to evade Wendy]
Chandler: What happened?
Chandler: Joey! Joey!!
Chandler: Why cant you tell her?
Chandler: I thought your time ran out.
Chandler: Oh, so, forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining!
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Chandler: Really, bitchin!
Chandler: Really?! You do that?
Chandler: So I guess its just uh, you and me then.
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Chandler: Kay.
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Yeah. Yes! Yeah.
Chandler: Okay.
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Chandler: Oh.
Chandler: Wait the uh, the kiss or the situation?
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts jumping around.)
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, continued from earlier. Chandler and Kathy are still kissing, then they stop suddenly.]
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Chandler: I-I think we have too.
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Chandler: What-what cha doin?