words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are going through a bunch of pictures as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Someone on the subway licked my neck! Licked my neck!!
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
Chandler: Oooh, Im afraid that does not exist.
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
Chandler: Yeah, Im not in that.
Phoebe: Yeah thats great! Next to that, Chandler wont look so stupid.
Monica: Chandler what do you say?
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Chandler: How about those three pointers?
Chandler: And those guys were this (Doing the standard "This Close" gesture) close to lettin us play this time too.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Chandler: They have that on the napkins at the club.
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Chandler: Dude that is so sad.
Chandler: Could I play?
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Chandler: Okay. (Does The Face.)
Chandler: No, I am.
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
Chandler: I do? (He smiles, beautifully.)
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are still trying to get the picture taken.]
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Chandler: Aww! (Smiles.)
(Chandler turns to the camera and does The Face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Chandler: I cant help it!
Chandler: Borrow money from me?
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Chandler: Why is there jelly on your shoe?
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Chandler: (Pause) Im right here!
Chandler: Im still right here!
Chandler: Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me?
Chandler: Can you people not see me?! (He waves his arms around to get their attention.)
[Scene: The Portrait Studio, Monica is waiting for Chandler to make another attempt at taking a good picture.]
Chandler: There I am!
Chandler: Yeah, Joey said I uh, I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine.
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: (awakens) Yeah! (Looks up and does The Face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Chandler: Ahhh.
Chandler: Oh yeah, that looks good.
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Im marrying her.
Chandler: No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Chandler: Hey. (He nods at the hat.)
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys hotel room. Chandler is watching TV as Joey returns, still wearing his hat.]
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
Chandler: Thats Thats was
Chandler: How did you? How? How?
Fergie: Hi Chandler! (Waves)
Chandler: Im gonna go to the bathroom.
Chandler: That was pretty intense huh?
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Chandler: (seeing her) Okay.
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Chandler: Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in.
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Chandler: So how are you doing?
Chandler: Out loud?
Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy.
Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
(Chandlers trying to console Monica.)
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Chandler: Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
Chandler: Yeah you are!!
Chandler: Well Ive-Ive never done that with you before.
Chandler: I dont want to look.
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
Chandler: So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay?
Chandler: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You?(Looking over at her. She looks back.) We did you.
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Chandler: Oh yea yea, absolutely.
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Oh my god!
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its the second one.
Chandler: I just wan't to...
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the guys are now trying to figure out what next to do, since their plan with the stripper backfired on them.]
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
Chandler: If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best.
Chandler: Im coming over tonight though, right?
Chandler: What we did last night was....
Chandler: Totally crazy stupid. (He nods his head at the people seated.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's carrying the laundry hamper to their coffee table.]
Chandler: It couldve been worse, he couldve shot her.
Monica: (Awkwardly.) Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I dont even like Chandler.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Seven times!
Chandler: Well, I dont see that we have a choice. But, when were back home, we dont do it.
CHANDLER: Hey! How come I'm stuck dicing, when he gets to ball the melon.
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Chandler: In a foreign, romantic country
Chandler: Forget it, thats off.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
Chandler: The mans got a point.
Chandler: Oh, hello Rachel.
Chandler: (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
Chandler: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Chandler: Yeah, well be down in like five minutes.
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
Chandler: Oh, yay
Chandler: Well, Ive got a girl in here.
Chandler: Wow, you look
Chandler: Well, were-were hanging out in here!
Chandler: Well, you couldnt have looked everywhere or else you wouldve found her!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Nope, not under here!
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna go.
(Chandler slowly takes his hand away.)
Chandler: But, well stay here with you.
Chandler: Yeah, for about 30 minutes.
Chandler: Yeah, its a very large plane.
Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.