words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in the canoe as Joey runs through the door carrying an outdoor patio table.]
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Im, Im paddling away!
Chandler: Wow! Really?! We get all this rusty crap for free?!
Chandler: Could we be more white trash?
Rachel: Oh! Good thing Chandlers not here, he always wins at this game.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Chandler: Well, no, actually she uh, asked me if I wanted to get a drink.
Chandler: (laughs) No. No!
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
Chandler: Well, not at first.
Chandler: Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level.
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
(Joey makes a sound imitating one person making a bed creak and Chandler turns and glares at him.)
Rachel: Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.
Chandler: Okay, I promise, Ill end it.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: Oh yeah, I totally agree.
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Chandler: It just doesnt feel like were breaking up.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Thanks.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to button up his shirt)
Chandler: Im getting dressed.
Chandler: When I walk outside naked people throw garbage at me.
Chandler: What is it?
Chandler: Ah-ha, youre not the boss of me. (She kisses him) Yeah, you are! (She handcuffs him to the chair) Ooh, saucy.
Chandler: You are, youre gonna leave me like this?
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Chandler: Hi! (to Sophie) How are you?
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
Chandler: Hello, Joanna (Realises he doesnt know her last name) s office.
Chandler: How little?!
Chandler: Look, this isnt funny! You get back here right now!
Chandler: Why not?!
Chandler: What?!
(Chandler gets an idea)
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
(Rachel goes into talk to Chandler.)
Chandler: Okay, heres the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.
Chandler: I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!
Chandler: It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out.
Rachel: Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Chandler: Never!
Chandler: Fine!
Chandler: Inever borrowed your Walkman.
Chandler: You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! (Rachel goes over and unlocks the handcuffs) Ahhh! (He starts rubbing his wrist)
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Chandler: About what?
Chandler: Ill make something up! Im good at lying, I actually did borrow your Walkman!
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, I dont think so!
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
Chandler: Well, this is much better.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, The salesman is trying to sell Joey the encyclopedias.]
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
Chandler: It still wouldnt be clean. (Rachel makes an Eww, disgusting! face) All I want is my freedom.
Chandler: Freedom!
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)
(Chandler screams a little bit, then realises that he can spit out his gag. He does so with a Pouff!)
Chandler: Im gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are still negotiating.]
Chandler: No!
Chandler: With extra pulp?
Chandler: No!
Chandler: You dont have it.
Chandler: How do Monica and Phoebe know?
Chandler: (intrigued) Go on.
Chandler: And Milton Berle has a
Rachel: Ohh, not compared to you. (Chandler nods in agreement)
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Chandler, are there.]
Chandler: (hello) Hello.
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
Chandler: (checks his watch) Two hours, that lasted!
Chandler: I think so.
Chandler: Could there be more Kims?
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Chandler: No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Chandler: Hey. (He nods at the hat.)
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
Chandler: Yeah?
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys hotel room. Chandler is watching TV as Joey returns, still wearing his hat.]
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
Chandler: Thats Thats was
Chandler: How did you? How? How?
Fergie: Hi Chandler! (Waves)
Chandler: Im gonna go to the bathroom.
Chandler: That was pretty intense huh?
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Chandler: (seeing her) Okay.
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Chandler: Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in.
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Chandler: So how are you doing?
Chandler: Out loud?
Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy.
Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
(Chandlers trying to console Monica.)
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Chandler: Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
Chandler: Yeah you are!!
Chandler: Well Ive-Ive never done that with you before.
Chandler: I dont want to look.
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
Chandler: So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay?
Chandler: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You?(Looking over at her. She looks back.) We did you.
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Chandler: Oh yea yea, absolutely.
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Oh my god!
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its the second one.
Chandler: I just wan't to...
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the guys are now trying to figure out what next to do, since their plan with the stripper backfired on them.]
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
Chandler: If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best.
Chandler: Im coming over tonight though, right?
Chandler: What we did last night was....
Chandler: Totally crazy stupid. (He nods his head at the people seated.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's carrying the laundry hamper to their coffee table.]
Chandler: It couldve been worse, he couldve shot her.
Monica: (Awkwardly.) Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I dont even like Chandler.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Seven times!
Chandler: Well, I dont see that we have a choice. But, when were back home, we dont do it.
CHANDLER: Hey! How come I'm stuck dicing, when he gets to ball the melon.
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Chandler: In a foreign, romantic country
Chandler: Forget it, thats off.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
Chandler: The mans got a point.
Chandler: Oh, hello Rachel.
Chandler: (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
Chandler: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Chandler: Yeah, well be down in like five minutes.
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
Chandler: Oh, yay
Chandler: Well, Ive got a girl in here.
Chandler: Wow, you look
Chandler: Well, were-were hanging out in here!
Chandler: Well, you couldnt have looked everywhere or else you wouldve found her!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Nope, not under here!
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna go.
(Chandler slowly takes his hand away.)
Chandler: But, well stay here with you.
Chandler: Yeah, for about 30 minutes.
Chandler: Yeah, its a very large plane.
Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?