words in movies
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Chandler: The young hot ball and chain.
Ross: (To Chandler) Yknow what? Actually Im kinda glad theyre leaving cause uh, I need to talk to you about something.
Chandler: Whats up?
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Chandler: But youre still my friend?
Chandler: During this time are you, are you still my best man?
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: (smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.
Chandler: So are we friends again?
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
Chandler: Yes, include more people in this.
Chandler: Wait a minute! I have a date tomorrow night.
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Honestly? Me too.
Chandler: Yeah. Yknow I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and Ill go all Chandler. But nothing has.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Chandler: Okay. Ill be right there.
(She exits and as Chandler picks up his coat, the phone rings and the answering machine gets it.)
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
(Chandler freaks out and loosens his tie.)
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner, Chandler and Monica are greeting guests as they arrive. A woman enters.]
Monica: Hey Maureen! (They hug.) Gosh! Hey uh, Chandler? This is my cousin Maureen.
Chandler: Were the Bings.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)
Ross: (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.
(Chandlers Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
Chandler: Hi.
Mrs. Bing: Chandler!
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Chandler: Hi dad.
Chandler: Oh my God! (He and Monica walk away.)
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
(Everyone clinks glasses and Chandler freaks out again.)
Ross: Hey, wheres Chandler?
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Chandler just left though!
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
Ross: Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesnt show up!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bathroom, the scene is continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
(Phoebe and Ross go to look for Chandler and Rachel enters Monica and Chandlers.)
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew I shouldve hid at the gym!
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Chandler: No! No! No! I cant do that!
Chandler: Because if I go home, were gonna become the Bings! I cant be the Bings!
Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages! They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games!
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Chandler: No.
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Chandler: I want to. I love her so much, but Im afr Its too huge.
Chandler: Well yeah, but then
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Joey: (on phone) Hey! Did Chandler show up yet?
[Scene: Chandlers Hotel Room, Ross is getting Chandler ready.]
Chandler: No.
Chandler: Yeah okay. Well, whats the next little bit?
Ross: Getting married. (Chandler panics.) Okay. Okay. You can, you can do that too! Just like youve done everything else!
Chandler: Yeah. Youre right. Hey I-I can do that.
Chandler: Okay, excuse me for a minute. (Starts to leave)
Chandler: Ross, I am not gonna run away again! I just want to get a little fresh air.
Chandler: Okay.
(Chandler goes out into the hall and lights up a cigarette.)
Chandler: Oh fresh air!
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
Rachel: Yeah! Yeah. Theyre theyre-theyre my friends, uh, Monica Stephanopolus and uh, and Chandler Acidofolus.
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Monica: I know! Hey, hows Chandler doin?
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Ross: Chandlers gone again!
[Scene: The Hotel, Phoebe and Ross are looking for Chandler.]
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Ross! (He starts to get up.)
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Chandler: (standing up) Thats right! Im not!
Chandler: I know about Monica.
Chandler: Yeah, I heard you and Rachel talking.
Chandler: You dont know?
Chandler: Monicas pregnant.
Chandler: Well I was! Then I went down to the gift shop because I was out of cigarettes
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
The Rabbi: Are you Chandler?
Chandler: Are you Joey?
(Chandler steps off the altar to greet his bride-to-be.)
Chandler: You look beautiful. Is this new? (Her dress.)
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: (To Chandler) Who is this?
Chandler: (in Monicas ear) Hes Greek Orthodox.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Rachel: Go on! Go on. (She turns back to Chandler.)
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Joey: Chandler?
(Ross leans in to give Chandler his vows.)
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Chandler: I do.
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Joey: We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. (To Chandler) Now kiss her again.
Chandler: (To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.
Chandler: Our baby.
Chandler: Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash.
Chandler: Then who did?
Chandler: No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Chandler: Hey. (He nods at the hat.)
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
Chandler: Yeah?
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys hotel room. Chandler is watching TV as Joey returns, still wearing his hat.]
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
Chandler: Thats Thats was
Chandler: How did you? How? How?
Fergie: Hi Chandler! (Waves)
Chandler: Im gonna go to the bathroom.
Chandler: That was pretty intense huh?
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Chandler: (seeing her) Okay.
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Chandler: Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in.
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Chandler: So how are you doing?
Chandler: Out loud?
Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy.
Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?
(Chandlers trying to console Monica.)
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Chandler: Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
Chandler: Yeah you are!!
Chandler: Well Ive-Ive never done that with you before.
Chandler: I dont want to look.
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
Chandler: So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay?
Chandler: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You?(Looking over at her. She looks back.) We did you.
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Chandler: Oh yea yea, absolutely.
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Oh my god!
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its the second one.
Chandler: I just wan't to...
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the guys are now trying to figure out what next to do, since their plan with the stripper backfired on them.]
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
Chandler: If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best.
Chandler: Im coming over tonight though, right?
Chandler: What we did last night was....
Chandler: Totally crazy stupid. (He nods his head at the people seated.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's carrying the laundry hamper to their coffee table.]
Chandler: It couldve been worse, he couldve shot her.
Monica: (Awkwardly.) Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I dont even like Chandler.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Seven times!
Chandler: Well, I dont see that we have a choice. But, when were back home, we dont do it.
CHANDLER: Hey! How come I'm stuck dicing, when he gets to ball the melon.
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Chandler: In a foreign, romantic country
Chandler: Forget it, thats off.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
Chandler: The mans got a point.
Chandler: Oh, hello Rachel.
Chandler: (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
Chandler: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Chandler: Yeah, well be down in like five minutes.
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
Chandler: Oh, yay
Chandler: Well, Ive got a girl in here.
Chandler: Wow, you look
Chandler: Well, were-were hanging out in here!
Chandler: Well, you couldnt have looked everywhere or else you wouldve found her!
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Nope, not under here!
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna go.
(Chandler slowly takes his hand away.)
Chandler: But, well stay here with you.
Chandler: Yeah, for about 30 minutes.
Chandler: Yeah, its a very large plane.
Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?