words in movies
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Hey.
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
Chandler: (shocked) Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!
Chandler: Oh, its awkward. Its awkward. Its awkward.
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Chandler: You can be the best man when I get married.
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, youyeah, of course you get to be my best man.
Joey: (impatiently tapping Chandler on the shoulder) What about me?! You-you just said I could!
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Chandler: Im not even Im not even
Joey: Yes! (to Chandler) Shame about you man.
Joey: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, Ive got you, me, and Chandler and Im gonna invite Gunther cause, well, weve been talking about this pretty loud.
Chandler: (entering) Hey guys, what are you doing?
Chandler: Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
Chandler: Oh, Im Ross. Im Ross. Im too good for the Hut; Im too good for the Hut.
Chandler: See ya. (Ross exits, and Chandler moves over next to Joey, laughing.) Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party.
Chandler: He just said, "No strippers."
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Chandler: (banging a spoon against his beer bottle) Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. Ive decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther!
Chandler: Central Perk?
Chandler: (banging on the bottle again) Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, (to the stripper) so is the position of the bride.
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
Joey: (running and banging on Chandlers door) The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring!
Chandler: (opening the door) What?
Chandler: Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for thisAh-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! Youre the worst best man ever!
Chandler: You slept with the stripper?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is trying to figure out what to do.]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Chandler: Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?
[Scene: Chandlers office, the guys are there waiting to ambush the stripper.]
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: Way to be cool, man.
Chandler: Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the guys are now trying to figure out what next to do, since their plan with the stripper backfired on them.]
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Chandler: He will, Joe.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Chandler: Hey, come on, its not your fault.
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Chandler: No, you should.
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Thanks man.
Chandler: What a baby.
Chandler: Whats up?
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Chandler: Yes, if the foxhole was lined with sandwiches.
Chandler: The young hot ball and chain.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
Chandler: (smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.
Chandler: But youre still my friend?
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Chandler: During this time are you, are you still my best man?
Chandler: So are we friends again?
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Chandler: mmm That's enough about you!
Chandler: I was making a coconut phone with the professor.
Chandler: Yes, include more people in this.
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.
Chandler: Wait a minute! I have a date tomorrow night.
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Okay. Ill be right there.
Chandler: Yeah. Yknow I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and Ill go all Chandler. But nothing has.
Chandler: Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?
Monica: Hey Maureen! (They hug.) Gosh! Hey uh, Chandler? This is my cousin Maureen.
(Chandler freaks out and loosens his tie.)
Chandler: Were the Bings.
(She exits and as Chandler picks up his coat, the phone rings and the answering machine gets it.)
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)
Ross: (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.
Chandler: Hi.
Mrs. Bing: Chandler!
(Chandlers Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
Chandler: Hi dad.
Chandler: Oh my God! (He and Monica walk away.)
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Ross: Hey, wheres Chandler?
Monica: Do you guys know what happened to Chandlers barca lounger?
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Chandler just left though!
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Ross: Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Chandler: Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy?
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Rachel: Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesnt show up!
Phoebe: Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bathroom, the scene is continued from earlier.]
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
(Phoebe and Ross go to look for Chandler and Rachel enters Monica and Chandlers.)
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew I shouldve hid at the gym!
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Chandler: No! No! No! I cant do that!
Chandler: No.
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God!
Chandler: Well yeah, but then
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
Chandler: My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt. (Glaring at Joey whos nodding.)
[Chandler can't find his money in the pocket. In the meantime, another couple shows up, and Chandler turns away to look for his money]
Joey: (on phone) Hey! Did Chandler show up yet?
[Scene: Chandlers Hotel Room, Ross is getting Chandler ready.]
Chandler: No.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Yeah okay. Well, whats the next little bit?
Chandler: Yeah. Youre right. Hey I-I can do that.
Chandler: Oh fresh air!
Ross: Getting married. (Chandler panics.) Okay. Okay. You can, you can do that too! Just like youve done everything else!
(Chandler goes out into the hall and lights up a cigarette.)
Chandler: Okay, excuse me for a minute. (Starts to leave)
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Chandler: There's a tape here with Monica's name on it.
Chandler: Ross, I am not gonna run away again! I just want to get a little fresh air.
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Monica: I know! Hey, hows Chandler doin?
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Monicas pregnant.
Chandler: (standing up) Thats right! Im not!
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.
Chandler: Ross! (He starts to get up.)
[Scene: The Hotel, Phoebe and Ross are looking for Chandler.]
Chandler: I know about Monica.
Chandler: You dont know?
Chandler: Yeah, I heard you and Rachel talking.
Chandler: Well I was! Then I went down to the gift shop because I was out of cigarettes
Chandler: Get there faster! (Joey gasps and finally understands...)
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
Chandler: Are you Joey?
The Rabbi: Are you Chandler?
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: You look beautiful. Is this new? (Her dress.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Who is this?
Rachel: Go on! Go on. (She turns back to Chandler.)
(Ross leans in to give Chandler his vows.)