words in movies
Chandler: Tell me what?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
Chandler: Wow!
Chandler: More importantly, was I any good?
Chandler: Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm allways surprisingly inadequate. (Monica pats him on his lap)
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Chandler: You're okay there?
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Chandler is sitting on the table.]
Chandler: Hello Rachel.
(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)
Chandler: Pirates again?
Chandler: (sarcasticly) Thanks Joey, that's a good idea.
Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.
Chandler: Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.
Chandler: A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.
Chandler: When we were?
Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?
Chandler: Can you hear that?
Chandler: See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.
Chandler: I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Ah!
Chandler: Well, now, I actually have to get to work.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Bye bye.
Chandler: (answering it) Yes?
Chandler: Ooh. (leans against the desk)
(Phoebe and Chandler enter)
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Chandler: Why not?
Chandler: What?!
Chandler: Noho. Who doesn't they like me?
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Chandler: I can't belive it.
Chandler: They do me?
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Ross: Oh, oh Chandler...
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
Chandler: That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!
Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
Chandler: Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy?
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
(Chandler and Joey laughs, until they look at each other then recoil in horror.)
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
(Ross and Chandler laughs)
Chandler: Tyrannosaurus!
Chandler: Work people? Nobody told me.
Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.
Chandler: You think I should?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: Then, I don't get it.
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Chandler: They do?
Chandler: I just wan't to...
Chandler: But I just wa...
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
Gerston: Uh, like, could these margaritas be any stronger? (They discover that Chandler is listening) Hey, Chandler.
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
(They go away, trying very hard not to laugh at Chandler)
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
Chandler: Petrie, right, right. Okay, some people gonna be working this weekend.
(Chandler struts out from his apartment)
Chandler: (doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.
Chandler: Yeah, like in a cab...
Chandler: Okay, hating this.
Chandler: Here we go, here we go.
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
RACHEL: Chandler, relax, Chandler, she'll be here.
CHANDLER: Oh my God! (it's Janice)
CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.
JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
Chandler: Huh. (They all leave, dejected)
Chandler: Morning.
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
Chandler: Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is coming in from the bedroom]
Chandler: Nope, not this time.
Chandler: Yeah, I know. She makes me happy.
CHANDLER: Hey, you feelin' better?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
[Chandler enters]
Chandler: Of!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters to find Chandler staring at another cheesecake box.]
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say?
Chandler: Well, there you go.
Chandler: No, Janice.
Chandler: I want you to say that you like her!
[The next flashback is from The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line. He's telling Joey that he kissed Cathy.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's]
Chandler: Ooh, that girl that I hate, eww, drives me crazy, eww, eww, oh!
Janice: For Chandler!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Chandler: Umm, yeah.
Chandler: Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I know!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Yeah! All right! You go first.
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Chandler: You said...
Chandler: Really.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Chandler: What are you guys doing together?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Well, I guess that's something.
Chandler: You still can't stand her can you?
Chandler: Oh God!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot.
Chandler: Taste it.
Chandler: Hey, mister tux!
Chandler and
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Chandler: You're in my seat.
Chandler: 'Cause I was sitting there.
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
Chandler: We're not gonna talk about girth are we?
Chandler: Really!
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Chandler: Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!
Chandler: What?
Chandler and
Chandler: All right! (jumps up)
Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Chandler: Maybe it was his sister's. You know, maybe it was his daughter's.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
Chandler: (shyly) The sheep.
CHANDLER: Oh o-, OK man.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey and Chandler are there getting ready for Thanksgiving.]
Chandler: He's got nothing!
Chandler: What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes?
Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.
Chandler: He took my essence!
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
CHANDLER: [throws it across the room while Eddie's not looking] Listen Eddie, um, I've been thinking about our current living situation and uh, why are you smiling?
Chandler: They got a phone in there, right?
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Chandler: Stop it. Stop it!
Chandler: I mean, I was sitting there.
Chandler: But, I never left the room!
Chandler: Excuse me. Hi.
Chandler: Well, your kind of sitting in my seat.
Chandler: All right, that's it, give me your underwear.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.
[Joey and Chandler enter]
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.