words in movies
(She goes into her apartment and sees Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross sitting there.)
Chandler: Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately.
Chandler: Life-sized Imperial Storm Troopers from Sharper Image?
Chandler: Wow!! Can Joey and I put them on and fight?
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is telling Chandler about Kate.]
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Chandler: (in a deep voice) If I broke up with you, Id miss you.
Chandler: And youre our age. Youre our age.
Chandler: Thats not a state Joe.
Chandler: Youre our age!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Ross are returning from working out.]
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
Chandler: Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You cant just stare through the peep hole for three hours! Youre gonna get peep eye!
Chandler: You didnt just break up.
Chandler: You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean bullets have left guns slower!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.
Chandler: Stop what?!
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Chandler: No!! You cant!!
Chandler: I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!
Chandler: Look man!
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I know. (He rubs Rosss head)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Chandler: (to Joey) I wasnt doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?
Chandler: Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.
Chandler: I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know?
Chandler: Im talking about you. You big, big freak.
Chandler: Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard youd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Chandler: Cause its-its not his last name.
Chandler: No, its not like, like Phil Spiderman. Hes a spider, man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but theres no Gold Man.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]
Chandler: So, ahh, what kind of powers would Gold Man have?
Chandler: What about things that are already gold?
Chandler: Okay, lets play my game now.
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
RACHEL: Chandler, relax, Chandler, she'll be here.
CHANDLER: Oh my God! (it's Janice)
CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.
JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
Chandler: Huh. (They all leave, dejected)
Chandler: Morning.
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
Chandler: Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is coming in from the bedroom]
Chandler: Nope, not this time.
Chandler: Yeah, I know. She makes me happy.
CHANDLER: Hey, you feelin' better?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
[Chandler enters]
Chandler: Of!
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters to find Chandler staring at another cheesecake box.]
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say?
Chandler: Well, there you go.
Chandler: No, Janice.
Chandler: I want you to say that you like her!
[The next flashback is from The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line. He's telling Joey that he kissed Cathy.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's]
Chandler: Ooh, that girl that I hate, eww, drives me crazy, eww, eww, oh!
Janice: For Chandler!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Chandler: Umm, yeah.
Chandler: Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: I know!
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Yeah, okay.
Chandler: Yeah! All right! You go first.
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Chandler: You said...
Chandler: Really.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Chandler: What are you guys doing together?
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Well, I guess that's something.
Chandler: You still can't stand her can you?
Chandler: Oh God!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Really?
Chandler: Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot.
Chandler: Taste it.
Chandler: Hey, mister tux!
Chandler and
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Chandler: You're in my seat.
Chandler: 'Cause I was sitting there.
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
Chandler: We're not gonna talk about girth are we?
Chandler: Really!
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Chandler: Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!
Chandler: What?
Chandler and
Chandler: All right! (jumps up)
Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Chandler: Maybe it was his sister's. You know, maybe it was his daughter's.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
Chandler: (shyly) The sheep.
CHANDLER: Oh o-, OK man.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey and Chandler are there getting ready for Thanksgiving.]
Chandler: He's got nothing!
Chandler: What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes?
Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.
Chandler: He took my essence!
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
CHANDLER: [throws it across the room while Eddie's not looking] Listen Eddie, um, I've been thinking about our current living situation and uh, why are you smiling?
Chandler: They got a phone in there, right?
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Chandler: Stop it. Stop it!
Chandler: I mean, I was sitting there.
Chandler: But, I never left the room!
Chandler: Excuse me. Hi.
Chandler: Well, your kind of sitting in my seat.
Chandler: All right, that's it, give me your underwear.
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.
[Joey and Chandler enter]
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.