words in movies
Chandler: (To Monica) Shes not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
[Flashback to Joeys thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Chandler: No Rach, its not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasnt that much fun.
[Flashback to Chandlers thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
Joey: (screaming) And now Chandler! Were all gettin so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
Chandler: Ross, a sports car? Wouldnt it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Chandler: (frustrated) Okay, for the last time. Its not named for each individual man.
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Chandler: Ohh! (He quickly removes his hand and looks at it.)
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)
Chandler: (getting up to investigate) Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out whats going on.
Chandler: Hey-hey are you drunk?
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
Chandler: Yes!
Chandler: Yes!!
Chandler: Okay, heres the thing. Were gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that youre drunk.
Chandler: Yeah, Ill take care of it.
Chandler: (laughing) Okay we have to do something about your breath.
Chandler: Thats still yours. Okay, now remember its a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.
Chandler: Okay.
(Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Chandler: (correcting her) Phil.
Chandler: Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.
Chandler: Monicas a little drunk.
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
(Chandler walks over to where the rest of the gang is.)
Chandler: Monicas wasted.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
Chandler: Okay, open ours next. Open ours next!
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
Chandler: No-no-no-no! That was the joke!
Chandler: No, because youre not a grandmother!
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Chandler: (To Monica) How are you feeling?
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Chandler: Pheebs!!
(Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her.)
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Chandler: I think its necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)
Chandler: What?
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Chandler: Okay, here we go.
Chandler: Hey! Howd it go?
Chandler: Well, here we are, just a bunch of thirty year olds.
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Chandler: Im sorry man, theres never a good time to (pauses) stop catching on fire.
Chandler: I'm free! I'm free!
Rachel: Where's Chandler?
Chandler: ...He's in.
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!
Chandler: No, ten o'clock.
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Aurora: Chandler?
Chandler: They got a breakfast buffet.
Chandler: Hey, kids.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone else is there as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.
Chandler: Look, we have no time okay? We must focus. We gotta get everything back into its original place.
Chandler: Oh, so you're divorced?
Chandler: Who's Rick?
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is?
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Chandler: ...Hm.
Chandler: Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan?
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Chandler: Y'think?
Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that.
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, then you're widowed?...Hopefully?
Chandler: Hi, Im Chandler. Your live-in boy
(Chandler enters with the phone.)
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates! (He goes into the bathroom, screams, and runs back out.) My eyes!! My eyes!!
Chandler: God, I love these fingers...
Chandler: Don't go.
Chandler: What, Ethan? He got to spend the whole day with you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are there as Ross enters with Phoebe.]
Chandler: (to himself) Too bad, she's leaving.
Chandler: Well, y'know, most women would kill for three guys like us.
Chandler: You.
Chandler: Lose the other guys.
Chandler: Well, I thought- I thought you talked to Rick.
Chandler: C'mon, we're great together, why not?
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Chandler: ...The second guy.
Chandler: Sorry, the first guy runs the lips.
Chandler: I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...
Chandler: (to Ross) "Big guy?"
(She leaves, Chandler sighs, and falls back on his bed.)
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
Chandler: Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)
Chandler: Something so sweet and...disturbing about that.
Chandler: Oh, great. This is just...
Chandler: (still helium voice) Right behind you, big guy! (they both head for the door)
Chandler: Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre.
Chandler: Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Chandler: There you go!
Chandler: Hey, it's me.
Monica: (to everyone) It's Chandler! (on phone) Are you OK?
Chandler: Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks. (takes phone)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The phone rings; it's Chandler.]
Chandler: Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind.
Chandler: It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army...
Chandler: (angry) Put Joey on the phone.
Gunther: Oh dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey tit. (hands Chandler back the cigarette.)
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Chandler: You're definitely scaring here.
Chandler: Um, is it sugarless?
(Chandler starts to choke.)
Chandler: (gasping) Yes... thank you. That was... that was....
(Chandler tries to save face and makes the 'OK' sign with his hands, while obviously unable to breathe.)
Chandler: OK.
Jill: Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy.
(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my life.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break. Shelley enters.) Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going?
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
Chandler: He's a he?
CHANDLER: Ah that's a cantelope.
Chandler: Yes please.
Chandler: You did?
Chandler: Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?
Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?
Chandler: You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?
Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me?
Chandler: WHAT IS IT?!
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: (exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
(Chandler smiles at her, she smiles back sweetly.)
Chandler: ...Quality, right, great.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Shelley is drinking coffee; Chandler enters.]