words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's]
Chandler: Hey!
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Chandler: No!
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her?
Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!
Chandler: No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where you're moving?
Chandler: Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life!
Chandler: Why did I get married?!
Joey: Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?
Chandler: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times,two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....
Chandler: What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!
Chandler: Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing
Chandler: Did she go out with him?
Chandler: Ah! The high road...
Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
Chandler: I thought I had to make the jokes!
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Chandler: We still got it!
Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed
Chandler: By drowning or...?!
Chandler: Well...
Chandler: Wow, it seems serious. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?
Chandler: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!
Chandler: It�s like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama!
Chandler: Ok. First of all, this is green!
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
Chandler: Ok, you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well I earned mineby plucking the eyebrows of my father and his �business� partners.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don�t need my help Victor Victoria!
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Chandler: Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe Vera and my gentle self-loathing touch.
Chandler: And done!
Chandler: Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like?
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right aboutthere, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
Chandler: No problem.
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: I am sorry I am late. You�ll understand when you�ll see Joey.
Chandler: Really? In front of all this people?
Chandler: Oh my God!
Chandler: Are those my wife�s nipples?
Chandler: I gotta stop this.
Chandler: You, touching yourself, out!
Chandler: �Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped himdrink his wine.� So you just touch yourself for anything?
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: So, uh, how often can you do it?
Rachel: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.
Chandler: Hey, sweetums.
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
Chandler: I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
Chandler: What did you just do?
Chandler: What did you just do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Chandler: Hey! (Trots over)
(He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.)
CHANDLER: Ok, this could be tough.
Chandler: We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY.'
CHANDLER: Ooh, you almost had it.
CHANDLER: Hey.
CHANDLER: I broke up with her.
CHANDLER: Maureen Rosilla.
CHANDLER: You or me?
JOEY: "Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!"
CHANDLER: Ok, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
CHANDLER: Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Chandler: (sarcastic) Ooooh. (looks dumbfounded at Joey's stupidity)
CHANDLER: Wow, he looks so normal.
CHANDLER: Whoa!
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
CHANDLER: Funniest? Heckles?
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
JOEY: Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody.
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
CHANDLER: How do you know that? How?
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
CHANDLER: (on phone) Hi, it's me.
Chandler: You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
CHANDLER: You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I understand.
CHANDLER: Oh, my, god!
CHANDLER: Congratulations.
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
CHANDLER: You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?
Rachel: Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
CHANDLER: In a bad way?
CHANDLER: Neat. I'm gonna die alone.
MONICA: Chandler, you're not gonna die alone.
CHANDLER: Whoa! Don't know about that.
CHANDLER: I'll take that.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
CHANDLER: Takin' that with you, huh?
Chandler: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
CHANDLER: Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
CHANDLER: You bitch.
ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like?
CHANDLER: If I'm goin' down, I'm takin' everybody with me.
CHANDLER: Joey was in a porno movie.
CHANDLER: Oh I see, I see, because of the third nipple thing. Ha ha ha ha. . .
Chandler: Joey... Switzerland?
Chandler: (standing up too) M-Me-me-me!
(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
CHANDLER: Uh, Julie.
Chandler: Oh! Thanks, I'm crazy about our place. Hey! speaking of crazy... do you have a history of mental illness in the family?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
CHANDLER: What's this in my pocket? Why it's Joey's porno movie.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. After dinner. Chandler enters.]
CHANDLER: Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.
CHANDLER: OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
CHANDLER: Nice work my friend.
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
CHANDLER: I got the time to get to know Julie.
chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
CHANDLER: I'm goin' home.
[Outside in the hallway, Chandler, Joey, and Monica exit]
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
CHANDLER: Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there. (phone rings)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching his phone.]
CHANDLER: What?
CHANDLER: I'm back.
CHANDLER: Bob here.
CHANDLER: (on phone) What've you been up to?
CHANDLER: Ok. Ok. Having a phone has finally paid off.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
CHANDLER: Look guys, I know it's a little steep.
CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
CHANDLER: But it's Ross.
CHANDLER: You know, I think I might just.
CHANDLER: I'll see you guys later, I gotta go...do a thing.
Chandler: Well, listen, don't tell us what's gonna happen though, 'cause I like to be surprised.