words in movies
Chandler: It couldve been worse, he couldve shot her.
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
Chandler: Seven times!
Chandler: In a foreign, romantic country
Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
Chandler: Well, I dont see that we have a choice. But, when were back home, we dont do it.
Chandler: Yknow, I saw a wine cellar downstairs
Chandler: Okay!
(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)
Chandler: Forget it, thats off.
Chandler: The mans got a point.
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
Chandler: Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me.
Chandler: Oh, hello Rachel.
Chandler: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Chandler: Yeah, well be down in like five minutes.
Chandler: Oh, yay
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
(Cut to Chandlers room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after seeing that he isnt, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)
Chandler: Wow, you look
Chandler: Well, Ive got a girl in here.
Chandler: Well, were-were hanging out in here!
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Chandler: Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didnt get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Nope, not under here!
Chandler: Well, you couldnt have looked everywhere or else you wouldve found her!
Chandler: Yeah, for about 30 minutes.
Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna go.
Chandler: Yeah, its a very large plane.
Chandler: But, well stay here with you.
(Chandler slowly takes his hand away.)
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
Chandler: Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. (Realizes something) Yknow, technically we still are over international waters.
Chandler: Kay!
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
Chandler: Uhh, no.
Chandler: No.
Chandler: Yes.
Chandler: Okay man. (Chandler starts to get up.)
(Time lapse, Chandler is finishing his third little bottle of booze.)
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Chandler: No we didnt!
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Chandler: Yes! Good thing we have that, Not in New York rule.
Chandler: Right.
Chandler: Oh. Yknow, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasnt because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me cause, youre really hot! Is that okay?
Chandler: And Im cute too.
Chandler: Thank you! (They hug.) All right, I gotta go unpack.
Chandler: Bye.
Chandler: (entering) Im still on London time, does that count?
Chandler: Oh, good! (They start kissing.)
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Chandler: Thats funny, I saw no phlegm.
Chandler: Oh thats too bad.
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Chandler: Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?!
Chandler: So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Chandler: Okay.
Chandler: Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: Chandler, would you like some more orange juice?
Chandler: Okay, one more time.
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Monica: Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?!
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! Im really-really sorry about tonight. I dont know if Joey told you; I just couldnt get out of going to this play. Im sorry. Have a great time.
Chandler: Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!!
Chandler: Oh yeah!
[Scene: The hallway, Joey, Janine, Monica, and Chandler are returning from their second date.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Joey: All right! All right! Enough! Enough! Enough!! Enough! (To Chandler and Monica) You two go home! I-I-I gotta talk to Janine! (They start to leave.)
Chandler: Thats totally understandable.
Chandler: Yeah, Im sorry man. (Pause) You wanna go watch?
Chandler: Did you hear that?
Chandler: You okay?
Chandler: Hey so, did uh, did she move out?
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Chandler: I made that joke up.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Chandler: Yeah, I guess.
Chandler: Seriously?
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
Chandler: Its my joke.
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Chandler: Uh Kathy, with K or a C?
Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
Joey: Chandler, Chandler, yknow what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.
Chandler: Whoa ho.
Chandler: Joey, why is your cable out?
Monica: I am so glad you guys got together, Chandler and I are always looking for a couple to go out with and now we have one!
Chandler: Oh, what can happen? I mean, would you (He gestures and spills some of his coffee.)
Chandler: Yeah.
Chandler: Well, look its been a really emotional time yknow, and youve had a lot to drink. And youve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.
Chandler: Yeah!
(He and Chandler crack up.)
Chandler: Okay (he goes to sit down).
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Monica: We didnt give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, "No!")
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Chandler: (visibly upset) He took my joke, he took it.
Gunther: Yeah, that-that Chandler cracks me up.
CHANDLER: [to an attractive woman] I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? [The woman walks away]
Chandler: A pharmacist. (Rachel mocks him.)
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Chandler: Lets have Monica decide.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
Ross and Chandler: Its my joke.
Chandler: I dont believe it. The most romantic night of my life and Im runner up.
Chandler: Yeah!
Chandler: Mon, get out here!
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Chandler: Because youre the only one that can be fair.
Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Chandler: Can I finish my story?!
Chandler: Im not arguing with that.
(Chandler motions to Monica that hell give her two babies.)
Chandler: So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?
Chandler: Is not.
Monica: Hi, Chandler. There you are.
Chandler: Hi, oh hi.
Chandler: No, no. It-its not about the swearing, its more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock.
Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!
Chandler: (happily) Im off the list. (Sits on the couch.)
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Chandler: (To Chandler) Im out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again?
Chandler: Great, because my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor, can I borrow the boots from your costume?
Chandler: Its my joke.
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
Chandler: Hey.
(Joey, Chandler and Ross enter.)
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldnt split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
Chandler: (stops laughing, to Ross) You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.
Chandler: Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldnt you be at work?
Chandler: Im gonna grab you some tissue.
Chandler: Im so sorry youre sick.
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)