words in movies
Chandler: It couldve been worse, he couldve shot her.
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Chandler: Hey.
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
Chandler: Seven times!
Chandler: In a foreign, romantic country
Chandler: Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
Chandler: Well, I dont see that we have a choice. But, when were back home, we dont do it.
Chandler: Yknow, I saw a wine cellar downstairs
Chandler: Okay!
(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)
Chandler: Forget it, thats off.
Chandler: The mans got a point.
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
Chandler: Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me.
Chandler: Oh, hello Rachel.
Chandler: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Chandler: Yeah, well be down in like five minutes.
Chandler: Oh, yay
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
(Cut to Chandlers room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after seeing that he isnt, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)
Chandler: Wow, you look
Chandler: Well, Ive got a girl in here.
Chandler: Well, were-were hanging out in here!
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Chandler: Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didnt get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.
Chandler: Okay!
Chandler: Nope, not under here!
Chandler: Well, you couldnt have looked everywhere or else you wouldve found her!
Chandler: Yeah, for about 30 minutes.
Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna go.
Chandler: Yeah, its a very large plane.
Chandler: But, well stay here with you.
(Chandler slowly takes his hand away.)
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
Chandler: Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. (Realizes something) Yknow, technically we still are over international waters.
Chandler: Kay!
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
Chandler: Uhh, no.
Chandler: No.
Chandler: Yes.
Chandler: Okay man. (Chandler starts to get up.)
(Time lapse, Chandler is finishing his third little bottle of booze.)
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Chandler: No we didnt!
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Chandler: Yes! Good thing we have that, Not in New York rule.
Chandler: Right.
Chandler: Oh. Yknow, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasnt because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me cause, youre really hot! Is that okay?
Chandler: And Im cute too.
Chandler: Thank you! (They hug.) All right, I gotta go unpack.
Chandler: Bye.
Chandler: (entering) Im still on London time, does that count?
Chandler: Oh, good! (They start kissing.)
Chandler: What problem did you tell him you had?
Chandler: I married Fred Sanford!
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Monica: Chandler has two copies of Annie!
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Chandler, can you give us a minute?
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Chandler: Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred.
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
Chandler: What are you doing?
Chandler: Its a dog.
Chandler: Ha!
Chandler: Yeah.
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: OK, I'm officially unpacked. Thanks for helping me man. (Turns around and sees that Joey isn't there.) Joe? (Hears giggling coming from a box) Well, I guess Joey went home. Oh and look, there's still one box that I have to unpack. (Hears the giggling again)
Chandler: What are you doin?
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Chandler: (entering) Aww, turkey! Aww, giving thanks! Aww!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sorting their CDs.]
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Chandler: Ross! Its got your wavy black lines!
Chandler: Ah, no-no-no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.
Monica: (To Chandler) You think were being obvious?
Chandler: No, were just four people with neck problems. You talk like this. (Out of the sides of their mouths.)
Chandler: Nice work my friend.
Chandler: Oh, sweet Lord. New realms of pleasure!
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: And a bagel with only
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
(Chandler does so.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
Chandler: All right, ready?
Chandler: Two.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Chandler: FREE PORN!!!
(Chandler turns off the porn and sets the remote down.)
Chandler: We have free porn here!!!
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
(Chandler turns on the TV and )
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Chandler: Stick to your side!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Chandler: Thanks.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[The next one is from Episode 401: The One With The Jellyfish, where Monica, Joey, and Chandler are relating that tragic day they spent on the beach.]
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Chandler: It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)
Chandler: Youre turning into a woman.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
(Chandler tries to jump over the couch but everyone stops him.)
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Chandler: Hey Joe! You wanna shoot some hoops?
Chandler: Thats great.
Chandler: (simultaneously with Ross) No!
Ross: (simultaneously with Chandler) Yeah!
Chandler: Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.
Chandler: Bamboozled?
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Joey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?
Chandler: Higher or lower than what?
Chandler: What does a Wicked Wango card do?
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Chandler: Bogota.
(As soon as Monica leaves the room, Chandler takes off his jacket and runs to the bathroom. Monica enters the bathroom to find Chandler in the bathtub.)
Chandler: This game makes no sense!
Joey: All right Chandler, youre up.
Chandler: Let me see that.
Chandler: This game is kinda fun.
Chandler: Either, it makes no difference.
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Chandler: Let me think. Let me thinkOh! I dont care.
Chandler: Ill take a card.
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Chandler: Triscadecaphobia.
Chandler: Treasure of the Sierra Madre!