words in movies
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Carol: Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Carol: Oh, no no no. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Carol: It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.
Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Carol: That could be it.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Carol: Mushroom. Smile. They won't all be like this. Some women might even stay through dinner. Sorry, that's not funny
Carol: Oh, I love you too. But...
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
Carol: Not her.
Carol: Sure.
Carol: As much as he needs.
Ross: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Carol: Why'd you freak out?
Carol: How did we do?
Carol: My breast milk is gross?
Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. (Holding out a bottle.)
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
CAROL: Hi honey.
CAROL: What?
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
CAROL: Uhh, we know, he already did it last week.
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Carol: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
CAROL: Look I just thought that...
CAROL: So how did everything go?
CAROL: Well, we've gotta go.
CAROL: We're uh, we're getting married.
CAROL: Oh, right. Um, I've got some news. It's about us.
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
CAROL: Want us to go?
CAROL: Of course I do.
CAROL: Fine, whatever.
CAROL: How's it going?
CAROL: Nothing. Ok, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding.
ROSS: Carol, what's the matter? What happened?
CAROL: You're right. Of course you're right.
CAROL: We're back on.
CAROL: You do?
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
CAROL: Ross. [He lets her go]
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
CAROL: Thank you.
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
[They dance; Carol looks on lovingly.]
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
MONICA: Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast.
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
CAROL: Mommy is so proud of you. Hi. Hi.
CAROL: It's us.
CAROL: What did he say?
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Tuesday.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
CAROL: We've got a cab waiting downstairs.
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
CAROL: My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Rachel: Uh, honey, yeah that was with Carol.
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
CAROL: Think I better go before mommy starts weeping.
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Carol: Oh please God, let there be a song.
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
Carol: G. I. Joe. G. I. Joe?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Carol: Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before?
Carol: It did at first, but not anymore.
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Carol: Hey, what are you doing here?
Carol: (answering the door) Hi!
Carol: Hes sleeping.
Carol: Oh, great! Me too.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Carol: Sooo!! Anyway...
Carol: Oh God, Ross I am so sorry.
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Carol: You slept with another woman?
Phoebe: Yeah! Lets do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
Carol: Ahh, nooo!!
Carol: (looking through the peephole) Ugh. (opening the door) Ross!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Carol: Yeah, okay, bye. (closes the door, turns out the lights, and runs back to the bedroom)
Carol: Okay, bye!!
Carol: Youre a genius, Ross.
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Carol: Ah, Susan will be so pleased.
Carol: No. But its okay, Ill just put out pickles or something.
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.