words in movies
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
Joey: Ooh, its probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, Im kinda .
Joey: (reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!
Phoebe: Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, yknow if you can.
Estelle: Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle!
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Phoebe: No, we can go together! Just dont wait too long though, okay? Cause Im outta here sometime before Friday.
Phoebe: No-no, itll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember youre supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?
Rachel: Uh no, hes not. Can I take a message?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
[Scene change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.]
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'?
Ross: Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe thats our baby.
MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Chandler: What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!
Phoebe: Can you totally see through her shirt ?
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Rachel: Oh God, I can�t believe you�re making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!
Rachel: Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while?
Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
Gavin: It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice?
Phoebe: I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong...
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Chandler: I - I don't think I can.
Chandler: Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can...
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
Chandler: Did you see our bank statement? Can this be right?
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
Sally: Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent?
Joey: I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?
Rachel: Yeah, Why? You don't think a woman can do this?
Joey: Oh, women can. You can't.
Michelle: This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy!
Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin.. someone who can be firm and strict.
Mike: Yeah well, that's the thing. For me it's as far as it can ever go.
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
Rachel: Yeah, I don't know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks.
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
Ross: Hey hey, can I help?
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Phoebe: Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play?
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Rachel: No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Ross: Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. Its one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Rachel: Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those buys had a bet to see if he can knock you over.
Chandler: Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want.
Joey: Sometimes I think maybe she could. But it doesnt matter, because I cant do anything about it.
Joey: Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche?
Rachel: (on phone) Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
Monica: You know what? You can have mine.
FBOB: Uh, public display of affection coming up. You can avert your eyes. [kisses Monica]
Chandler: So, what do you say? Can you get out of work?
Rachel: (on the phone) Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter?
Joey: (sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing.
Chandler: Well, that's impossible, can you check again, please?
Chandler: Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? (pause) We'll take it.
Joey: Oh, all right, I can ask Monica.
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
Rachel: Can I ask you a question?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Now you can turn around or you can go in there and rip the Band-Aid off. What to you want to do?
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Phoebe: I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want?
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Monica: Rachel, things can get incredibly complicated.
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Rachel: When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better! (she closes her robe)
Joey: So whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you gonna do? Youre gonna have the baby and-and raise it by yourself without a husband?! You cant be a single mother alone! Youre gonna ruin your life!
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
Phoebe: How can you come here?
Rachel: For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Chandler: (seriously) It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.
JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Doctor Connelly: And, of course, if you feel that neither of those is right for you, you can always adopt.
Charlie: Wha, you know, maybe we can do something else!
Rachel: So can we keep this between us?
Zack: Ok listen, you guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight and I'm flattered and... and quite frankly a little frightened. Can we just talk about something else?
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Ross: (to Emma) Can you say Barbados?
Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
Charlie: But maybe we can have dinner later? On the balcony? Will be romantic.
Robert: Jeez, thank you really that is so nice. But um, to be honest, I dont think I can wear these, theyre so tight, I feel like Im on display. Im sorry.
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed!
Joey: Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. (Does so.) Take a couple deep breaths. (Does so.) Look confident. (Does so as Rachel opens the door and startles him.)
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night!
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.