words in movies
Teleplay by: Mark Kunerth Story by: Peter Tibbals Transcribed by: Cassie With Help From: Eric Aasen
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Rachel: And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Phoebe: Okay so, by melting, you meant melting.
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Teleplay by: Brian Boyle Story by: Zachary Rosenblatt Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!
Joey: No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear".
Man: (being joined by the rest of the barbershop quartet) One, two, three...
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Directed by: Ben Weiss Transcribed by: Eleonora, Pheeboh, Sebastiano & Vanessa
Charlie: See, I told you I needed someone! Oh, you know, by the way, as a "thank you", I would really love to take you out.
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous!
Mike: Oh, by the way... I'm awesome!!
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Monica: (threatening) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
(Charlie walks by)
Joey: Road trip! Yeah, we can rent a car! I just have to be there by Tuesday!
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Coffee Mug
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Rachel: Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner.
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Teleplay by: Adam Chase Story by: Zachary Rosenblatt Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Mike: (popping by, smiling) You're kidding, we wouldn't have missed it!
Transcribed by: PHDB (phdb2000@hotmail.com) and Sebastiano (sebapop@libero.it)
Colleen: I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet.
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Transcribed by: r3v3LaT1oN with corrections and additional information by Keith Owen
Ross: (a little embarassed by their conversation) I'm good, I have dinner plans (moves away from them).
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
Amanda: Hello Monica. It’s Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat!
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Written by: Dana Klein Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
(Meanwhile the race has been won by Phoebe's bear, followed by Joey's robot)
Written by: Dana Klein Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa
Charlie: Fine, it's fine... (she whispers) I'll just shower by myself...
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Written by: Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer Directed by: Ben Weiss Transcribed by: Kreidy
Ross: (shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say "What's wrong? Answer the question")
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Part I Written by: Greg Malins Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Joey: Oh... yeah... Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it... lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Chandler: (he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
Laura: Is he alright out there by himself?
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
Joey: Yeah. Sorry about that. (He walks away and knocks on the next door which is answered by a little girl.) Oh, hey little girl. Uhh, is-is your mommy, or sister, or babysitter by any chance a hot girl?
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Chandler: You know, you always cook this meal all by yourself. Let me help this year.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Story by: Pan-ni Landrum & Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by: Adam Chase Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Teleplay: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Story: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Directed by: Sheldon Epps Transcribed by: Eleonora, Pheeboh, Sebastiano & Vanessa
Written by: Scott Silveri Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim
(Monica and Chandler do not look amused by Joeys head in the door)
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
Rachel: (looking into one of her shopping bags) Oh no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing.
(Rachel sticks a marshmallow into Monica’s nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Phoebe: Grasp one of the linen strips by its easy grab tab and pull it off in one quick pain free motion.
Benjamin: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?
Chandler: You're right, by saying "nice" I'm virtually licking her.
Chandler: Hey! (He quickly tries to hide the book by throwing it under the couch, only the couch has no back and it slides into the kitchen.)
Monica: Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size.
Written by: Robert Carlock & Dana Klein Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Ross: (outside her room, talking by himself) Haven't had sex in four months, I should get a medal for that!
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Ross: Oh, nothing, it’s just, it’s close to Ron. Does he.. Does little Ross like dinosaurs by any chance?
Rachel: Yeah! Oh by the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine.
Teleplay by: Tracy Reilly Story by: Robert Carlock Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour.
Monica: Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these (she gives Chandler a bowl with cranberries. Then, while she's going outside, she sees him with a bottle of soap in his hands) Not with soap!! (she leaves)
Phoebe: Well, I didn't think I should just drop by...
Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside)
Chandler: That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!?
Joey: No, no, no! (Starts looking around the room, terrified) Don't drop by, don't drop by!
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim