words in movies
Teleplay by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Story by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Chandler: If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang.
Chandler: Well its just my entire family was run out of Scotland by Vikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. (Makes a few unintelligible noises.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Cecilia is entering the living room from Joeys room followed by Joey.]
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, a scene is being shot where Dina and Fredrick are celebrating Jessicas horrible accident by drinking champagne.]
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
(A woman passes by, carrying newborn twins.)
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. Franzblau been by?
Ross: Oh, I'm threatened by you?
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Guy: I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.
Guy: Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.
Written by: Dana Klein Borkow Transcribed by: Dan Gottleib
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.
Written by: Scott Silveri Directed by: David Schwimmer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Chris Brown Transcribed by: Dan Silverstein
Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
Written by: Jeff Astroff & Mike Sikowitz
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
Ross: Yeah, that's kinda what I meant by "bye!"
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
Julie: I know, I probably shouldn't even tell you this, but I'm pretty much totally intimidated by you.
Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.
STRANGER: Great. Uhh, just tell her her husband stopped by. [leaves flowers on bar]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
Originally written by Alexa Junge Transcribed by Josh Hodge.
Originally written by Michael Curtis and Greg Malins Trascribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips With Minor Adjustments by: Eric Aasen
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
ROSS: [being drawn in by her talk] Uh-huh.
(They start kissing again, but are interrupted by the phone.
[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]
CHANDLER: By the way, this didn't seem so dorky in the hall.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Written by: Bill Lawrence Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips With Minor Adjustments by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Originally written by Michael Borkow Transcribed by Josh Hodge
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Ross: Oh, by the way, great service tonight.
Originally written by Jeffrey Astroff and Mike Sikowitz Transcribed by Josh Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan SIlverstein.
Story by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Teleplay by: Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips With Minor Adjustments by: Dan Silverstein
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Mikael Hedberg
ROSS: Oh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fluffy's old cat toy, OK?
Originally written by Doty Abrams Transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
Written by: Brian Boyle Directed by: David Schwimmer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear]
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: guineapig
Phoebe: Yeah, and theyve been coming by all day. They love it!
Originally written by Alexa Junge. Trascribed by Josh Hodge.
Originally written by Transcribed by Joshua Hodge
ROSS: Well we just wanted to stop by and uh, say goodnight.
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
Originally written by Adam Chase. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge.
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.
MONICA: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
[Chandler's. He's playing foosball by himself.]
[Joey's. Playing ping pong by himself.]
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
CHANDLER: Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.
Originally written by ???.
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
TILLY: Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank.
RICHARD: Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in.
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
Originally written by .
Originally written by .
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
JOEY: By someone besides Monica?
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
Originally written by Alexa Junge.
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
Originally written by Brown Mandell.
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
Transcribed by Marita Bakken
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Written by: Michael Curtis and Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Drew: Hold on, yknow I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring them by your office around uh, five?
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
ROSS: (using calculator) Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks.
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)