words in movies
Chandler: (picking up the telephone, answering it with a frog in his throat) Hello? (he clears his throat, but he still has the same frog in his throat when he speaks again) Hello?
Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Rachel: So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her.
Prospective nanny: That's cool. But... but if you do, I'm gonna need three days notice.
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Chandler: (angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters)
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Chandler: (laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Phoebe: No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny...
Sandy: It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do. But I am straight. I-I'm engaged actually.
Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
David: But... I-I-It's nice... A-a-and... nice is good. A-a-and good is not bad, ergo, w-w-we should keep kissing.
David: But... ergo...
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
Chandler: Did you tell her what we talked about? (Joey starts laughing hysterically, but then gets serious again...)
Phoebe: No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days.
David: Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. (he points at Mike)
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Sandy: But you are a real boy!
Carol: But they're not here yet!
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Monica: Yeah, but if it's good news, you should tell him now.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
Chandler: Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane? (pats his Travel Scrabble game)
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
Phoebe: Yeah, but, y'know, it's... it would be like starting on the fifteenth date.
Carl: But...
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Ross: (jumping to his feet) Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented.
Rachel: No, I know, but Ihe just went on. He's right there, he's got the blue jacket on, I... can I j-just...
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Ross: But...
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
Chandler: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true.
Ross: Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching.
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Carol: It did at first, but not anymore.
Monica: But I'm...
Ross: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah but I am not sure about some of the bra's I got.
Phoebe: Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss.
Rachel: Oh, I thought you guys meant marijuana cigarettes, y'know? Y'know what I mean, like dubbies? And I actually, I thought to myself, "Wow, those guys are crazy!" But no, I actually smoke the regular ones all, all the time.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
Julie: I know, I probably shouldn't even tell you this, but I'm pretty much totally intimidated by you.
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
PHOEBE: Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
(The party falls flat. Chandler tries to think of a witticism, but even he can't help...)
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
CHANDLER: What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it "supposably"?
RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
CHANDLER: Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, uh, it's gone now, you're alright.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
CHANDLER: Well, listen, this has been great but I'm officially wiped.
DUNCAN: No, but it'll be OK, they're pretty cool, my brother's straight so. . .
Joey: We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. (Joey gives Ross a hug)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
CHANDLER: But it's Ross.
CHANDLER: I don't know. I just had this weird sense. You know, but that's me. I'm weird and sensitive. Tissue?
ROSS: But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope?
David: No, but I'm asking-
CHANDLER: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it.
DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
RACHEL: But what about Phoebe?
RACHEL: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her.
RACHEL: Well, but Pheebs.
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
CHANDLER: Ok, but can you tell him that, because he thinks he's too pink.
PHOEBE: Right. My name was on there, but now it just says "carrot cake". So, um, so um, how many chords do you know?
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
Phoebe: Im sorry I wont be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but Im really busy that day. Yeah, I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.
CHAN: Oh, you know, I would, but that might get in the way of my lying around time.
RACH: Yeah, but how much can you tell from a look?
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
PHOE: Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended but, sweet.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
RACH: Oh, no, Michael, it's not you. I'm sorry, it's just, it's this thing. It's probably not as bad as it sounds but this friend of mine is, is getting a cat with his girlfriend.
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
JOEY: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... [rubs his fingers together]
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
RTST: But, we're thinking, given the right marketing, we can make Thanksgiving the Mockolate holiday.
PHOE: No offense, but that sounds nothing like her.
Chandler: (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring youre about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, Im gonna need to have that back. (The guy isnt sure.) But, in exchange Im willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. (Indicating a dish on the table) Why don't you try the hummus?
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
CHANDLER: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
CHANDLER: And last but not least.
(Phoebe gets up and walks across the hallway, but the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment is shut. She knocks, and anxiously waits for Joey to come, but instead her identical twin sister emerges wearing one of Joeys shirts.)