words in movies
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
ROSS and CHANDLER: [both enter looking down] Hhhiiii.
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Chandler: Here we go. Stand up straight. (smiling) Big smile. (opens the door and both are smiling exaggeratedly)
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
CHANDLER: Well we could just stay in and cook for ourselves. [both laugh hysterically]
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Monica and Ross: (holding both of their hands above their heads making rabbit ears with their fingers.) Bunny!
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together talking. Theres an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
All: All right!! (they lift it into place, however there is one small problem, the unit is so long that it blocks some of both of their bedroom doors.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Ross and Rachel are both reading as a guy stops by their row.]
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Ross: All right here. Watch me execute the three Ps of championship play. Power. (swings the racquet) Precision. (swings the racquet.) and penache. (does a backswing and hits Sarah whos started up the stairs, knocking her down, they both watch in horror.)
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
(They both start screaming at the top of their lungs.)
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
(They both growl and hiss at each other and then kiss passionately again.)
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Ross: Mmm. (They both reach for the last cookie) Oh, no-
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
Ross: Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here?
Both: Hey, buddy.
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
Chandler: (still helium voice) Right behind you, big guy! (they both head for the door)
Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!
Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Phoebe: Well, we both have.
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Rachel and Monica: Ohh! (both grab there stomachs in pain)
Both: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Ross: No... No... No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on.
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
(Long pause as they both look at each other.)
Both: Marcel?
Rachel: Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.
Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
Rachel: We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. (Chandlers shocked.) What? I read that.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
BOTH (but to different babies): Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy!
CHANDLER: Actually, uh, we're both the father. (Puts his arm around Joey)
[They both step out into the hall.]
RACHEL: Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
[they both try to drink while continuously stirring]
(they both start up the stairs.)
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. (they both run out)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
[Both run back in their apartment. There's a knock at the door.]
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
(Chandler and Ross both laugh)
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Monica: Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
Both: (screaming with excitement) Aah!
(Both Monica and Rachel laugh.)
(They both confer.)
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Frank: Oh I know!! (Both he and Alice squeal hysterically)
JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks.
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.